Yes this month was my Birthday (the entire month not just the day). And for that matter every day is my Birth day because each day we wake up we give birth to new ideas, the potential for new understandings, new experiences, new friends and lovers and new manifestations.
Our travels don’t always go as planned or as smoothly and care free as we wish; but each day is a chance to surrender what you think you know and simply let go of your ego and realize you don’t everything you think you know.
How can you know what is in someone’s heart? We only know what someone tells us and this is their truth and sometimes we don’t always share 100% of our heart’s intentions to protect ourselves from pain.
Sometimes we hear pleasant news. Yes the one we love does truly love us and we can forge ahead, making grand schemes and feeling secure that no matter what lies ahead there will be our lover waiting with a kind ear and encouraging words and some sensual play.
But what if you hear bad news? What if your lover says the following:
I love you but I am not IN LOVE with you?
What does that mean to you? Does this mean they are not completely devoted to serving and supporting you on your journey and you are wasting your time being hopeful when feelings are not returned? We all love to degrees and our experiences and understanding of love is uniquely our own to taste.
Perhaps you love blindly. You know what you like and you forge ahead recklessly knowing it’s worth the chase and this person “will grow” to love you just as you fervently love them. Yes you have that gut intuition and you know they will change. But sometimes people won’t change. Sometimes it is not you it’s just that they don’t know who they are but they know they need that support system from within and it’s nice that you are there and it’s nice to know that you do love them but see that is the crux of the problem. How can you truly love someone if you have no peace in your heart? How can you love someone anyone if you are never comfortable in your own skin or never fully present and comfortable in your present environment.
We carry our problems and our peacefulness with us in little precious mojo bags. We are who we are and we see ourselves in the reflection of our perceived beloved.
Is your lover emotionally present for you? Can your lover accept you, accept your flaws your frailty your changing moods and support you unconditionally without faltering or critiquing you harshly?
Sometimes we think we are in love but we are just in love with the idea that someone might find us appealing and desirable. If you can float on a pink, cushy cloud of hope 24/7 with or without a Sacred Other you are being fully Conscious of your Divine Other. You are your Divine Other and there is no one like you in this entire Universe.
Yes it feels so good to be made love to and to connect your energy with someone who does respect you and honor you. Yes it’s good to receive a phone call daily and or nightly and hear your beloved’s voice reassuring you that you are special and your presence in this Universe is so appreciated.
But what if that love dies slowly and painfully yet you are not ready to let go so you do everything you think possible to change your looks or change your routine to impress the object of your affection.
You are determined to start and refresh your love and entice your lover back to you. But It can be a harsh game and a harsh learning lesson that the only one you can count on this Universe is you. You have to wake up each morning and honor your unique truth. You are responsible for your creative fire and flow. You are the gem that has that unique chance to change people and to change yourself.
So treat each day as a birthday. You are here to receive both pleasure and pain. No one can make you feel any emotion. No one is more important than you and no one holds that secret recipe or key to unlock your bliss. You can choose to be your sacred other and stay grounded and loved or you can be miserable and a complete wreck when someone’s eyes no longer shine for your presence.
I’d rather be surprised. Sometimes I am a bit grumpy and at other times I wake up knowing I will seize every opportunity I so richly deserve. Do what you like. Wear what you please. The only one who can never abandon you completely is yourself. If you can live with yourself and honor your mood changes and know this is a mutating process you can love the changes and accept each one and each challenge as they come along.