Archive for July, 2012

Flights of Fancy ♬♫ Treat Every Day like a Birthing Day ☪

Yes this month was my Birthday (the entire month not just the day).  And for that matter every day is my Birth day because each day we wake up we give birth to new ideas, the potential for new understandings, new experiences, new friends and lovers and new manifestations. 

Our travels don’t always go as planned or as smoothly and care free as we wish; but each day is a chance to surrender what you think you know and simply let go of your ego and realize you don’t everything you think you know. 

How can you know what is in someone’s heart?  We only know what someone tells us and this is their truth and sometimes we don’t always share 100% of our heart’s intentions to protect ourselves from pain.

Sometimes we hear pleasant news.  Yes the one we love does truly love us and we can forge ahead, making grand schemes and feeling secure that no matter what lies ahead there will be our lover waiting with a kind ear and encouraging words and some sensual play.

But what if you hear bad news?  What if your lover says the following:

I love you but I am not IN LOVE with you?


What does that mean to you?  Does this mean they are not completely devoted to serving and supporting you on your journey and you are wasting your time being hopeful when feelings are not returned?  We all love to degrees and our experiences and understanding of love is uniquely our own to taste.

Perhaps you love blindly.  You know what you like and you forge ahead recklessly knowing it’s worth the chase and this person “will grow” to love you just as you fervently love them.  Yes you have that gut intuition and you know they will change.  But sometimes people won’t change.  Sometimes it is not you it’s just that they don’t know who they are but they know they need that support system from within and it’s nice that you are there and it’s nice to know that you do love them but see that is the crux of the problem.  How can you truly love someone if you have no peace in your heart?  How can you love someone anyone if you are never comfortable in your own skin or never fully present and comfortable in your present environment. 

We carry our problems and our peacefulness with us in little precious mojo bags.  We are who we are and we see ourselves in the reflection of our perceived beloved.

Is your lover emotionally present for you?  Can your lover accept you,  accept your flaws your frailty your changing moods and support you unconditionally without faltering or critiquing you harshly?

Sometimes we think we are in love but we are just in love with the idea that someone might find us appealing and desirable.  If you can float on a pink, cushy cloud of hope 24/7 with or without a Sacred Other you are being fully Conscious of your Divine Other.  You are your Divine Other and there is no one like you in this entire Universe.

Yes it feels so good to be made love to and to connect your energy with someone who does respect you and honor you.  Yes it’s good to receive a phone call daily and or nightly and hear your beloved’s voice reassuring you that you are special and your presence in this Universe is so appreciated.

But what if that love dies slowly and painfully yet you are not ready to let go so you do everything you think possible to change your looks or change your routine to impress the object of your affection.

You are determined to start and refresh your love and entice your lover back to you.  But It can be a harsh game and a harsh learning lesson that the only one you can count on this Universe is you.  You have to wake up each morning and honor your unique truth.  You are responsible for your creative fire and flow.  You are the gem that has that unique chance to change people and to change yourself.


So treat each day as a birthday.  You are here to receive both pleasure and pain.  No one can make you feel any emotion.  No one is more important than you and no one holds that secret recipe or key to unlock your bliss.  You can choose to be your sacred other and stay grounded and loved or you can be miserable and a complete wreck when someone’s eyes no longer shine for your presence. 

I’d rather be surprised.  Sometimes I am a bit grumpy and at other times I wake up knowing I will seize every opportunity I so richly deserve.  Do what you like.  Wear what you please.  The only one who can never abandon you completely is yourself.  If you can live with yourself and honor your mood changes and know this is a mutating process you can love the changes and accept each one and each challenge as they come along.


Happy Birthday  to YOU!Image

The Seeker is Not always a Fit Match to the Goddess/Shaman ♡♥

Dear Compassionate Audience I am sharing my experience of a healing that somehow was not meant to be. I guess it is the tenderness in me that wishes to give every wounded soldier a try. Sometimes on the phone you can be deceived into thinking that there is good energy match between you and a new student of tantra.

Some newcomers to Tantric yoga are truly sincere and they are not simply seeking an entertainment purposes only session nor are they seeking an empty, carnal experience.

I am sharing my hurt today because again I am not a perfect being and I can attract a client (not a genuine seeker) but a client who wants to experience something not in my realm but rather an escort romp.

During one of my prior visits to the city of Chicago I received in excess of 20 text messages, 10 emails and no true voice voice phone call from an anonymous man or shall I call him “child” begging me for a late evening out call Goddess Worship ceremony at 1am to his hotel near O’hare airport. I explained to him that I prefer connecting with everyone more personally and could he kindly call me from a non blocked number rather than sending me numerous text messages and numerous emails. He used a very suspicious account and referred to himself as a Mr. Jack Meoff. I am not kidding you. I guess I should have just hit the delete button based on his choice of a screen name.

He shared with me a message board affiliated with adult’s only fun for adult boys and his ID membership MO is Wow. I was pretty scared to even respond to something so graphic but hey I have a light hearted side and I have a great sense of humor so I figured I would see if this man might be persuaded to receive a luxury bathing session at my space and actually receive a more authentic healing and the extra benefit of my beautiful flute music, a roomier more elegant setting and bubble bath for two.

He said he was trying to impress clients and finally he took some time out later that night on a Sunday to reach out to me and he said he was entertaining his clients at Gibson’s Steak house. He was very open about what he did for a living and I asked polite questions. He then asked me my pricing for three hours of Goddess healing and I told him all prices were clearly posted onto my site. He told me what he could afford so I charged him a sliding fee to be kind.

At about midnight I arrived at his hotel which was a run of the mill hotel chain near O’hare. Once he saw me he initially seemed happy but I could tell how nervous and tired he was. He was very tired and run down and he said what he needed more than anything was a really good deep tissue massage so he paid me $400 for three hours.
I was a bit upset considering he did not have any extra money to compensate me for a late night out call to his hotel nor did he realize my cab fare cost me $65 of that money so in essence I was mistreated and taken advantage of from the beginning.

Apparently I know this man suffers from a disorder of ASPD which is a psychosis and only certain people with this disorder appear oh so charming but he was also a liar. He deceived me into thinking he had a desire to learn how to pleasure the Goddess but all he wanted was a nude massage which anyone from off the street could have given him.
I donated extra time to him since he said he was not doing so well financially and he went on to complain about his home town in Detroit, Michigan and said how dangerous that city was. I listened intently and we shared a lot of laughter. If I had realized he wanted to be in complete silence I would not have replied to him but allowed him the silence he desired.

I found out only today that this person IB6UBWbeB69in wrote a false review of that evening . He posted a negative and false review of me on The Erotic Review insinuating that I was a chatter box, my rates were exorbitant for what you are getting (even though he decided against tantra) and that he visited me to a hotel room at my location and I had multiple cats. As far as I can say I left my cat at home in Chicago and this gentleman is not only rude but Psychopath who enjoys hurting women, and boldly lying to get his way.
I contacted him at his email address and he swore he never wrote the article even though his screen identity matches his email address perfectly.

Again I am not always able to read people as closely as I wish. I always try and help when I can and I try to adjust my offerings so I can meet a variety of people. I had no idea that my generosity would be taken advantage of.

here is what this man had to say about me. It appears my one large cat multiplied like the Movie “The Matrix”.

here is what he wrote about our shared time together:


VIP only


VIP only


VIP only


VIP only

general details
OK first off be forewarned she has cats, I was unaware of this and did not expect it as it was a nice hotel.
OK Cat one big black one I saw and I assumed others.
Easy to contact and talk to on the phone, wants to talk to get to know you and talks quite a bit
I perhaps should have taken this as a clue the session despite promises of being quiet and relaxed
was her non stop chatter.
Anyway arrived at her hotel easily, clean upscale location. I was greeted at the door with a hug like
we were long lost lovers. We got comfortable and the session started with a massage.
VIPS read on, Non VIP I do not think I would repeat due to the cost and service provided as well
as the excessive chatter.
The Juicy Details

Since none of this did happen I decided to share this with anyone anyone at all who understands the nature of someone who likes to get what he wants, connives and lies over the phone then back stabs as an out right act of passive aggression because he can not communicate his needs in a healthy way.

Perhaps he was expecting an escort to come over in heavy make up and high heels. Perhaps he wanted something only an escort related service would provide. He lied on a general message board and slandered me . My next step is to obviously go through my phone records and permanently block him then warn others in my field against working with him or trusting his antics.

I have no clue what made him take out all his anger out on me. I decided to share this with other Goddesses in the event this information helps them decide how to screen more carefully. I know I sometimes listen to my intuition and sometimes I am stubborn and I want to reach out, cuddle and make everyone laugh but I found out today the hard way that not everyone wishes to be healed. Some people want to be in a miserable, stuck place of anger and negativity.

Namaste and Goddess Bless
My next article will be about My ideal Student so this ends on a much more upbeat note!