Posts from the “Tantra Chicago” Category

Today is Father’s Day 🧸

Today is Father’s Day but I don’t miss my biological father who physically kicked my mother in the stomach when she was carrying me in her womb. In fact I still don’t respect my own mother who is also deceased because what kind of mother remains married to a man who would attempt to threaten the life of her unborn child?

I’m posting this information not to garner any sympathy but to help people understand that not all of us here had desirable childhoods or pleasant memories of our parents during these traditional Hallmark card American created Holidays.

I’m not even a tad bit sentimental or regretful today because both my parents failed me and they were in a sick codependent relationship with one another and when my mother found out my father was schizophrenic she was even considering an abortion and deeply worried that I myself would develop schizophrenia like my father since it is after all hereditary.

Well my father had a complete nervous meltdown when my mother became pregnant and she told me he had kicked her hard then spent several months in treatment in the hospital for his mental condition.

Medication and talk therapy can only do so much for anyone suffering from delusions and I knew my father became a completely different person when he got angry with me or my mother. You could literally see his dark, black pupils become so enlarged his brown eyes became pitch black and he no longer looked human.

My father was very abusive to me…I have good memories of him when he showed genuine compassion towards me but his cruelty outweighed anything good he showed me and If I could go back in time as a young child I’d love to relive all those scary instances but ideally I would have left my home physically and spent more time outdoors or at the library and escaped his blind rages.

Not every father is ideal for the position of parenting so only a handful of lucky people out there had good, healthy relationships with their mothers and fathers. At the very least some of us as children were blessed to have a good role model either in the form of an uncle, a teacher or a close family friend.

I myself spent a good part of my childhood and puberty hiding in fear from my father who was not only diagnosed with schizophrenia but truly possessed by demonic entities. I’d love to understand what on earth I must have done in a previous incarnation to deserve such a frightening childhood but I know it shaped my character and made me a more sensitive child more empathetic than my peers.

I remember also being bullied by children my own age from five years old to age 16. At times I’d defend myself and the children would eventually learn to steer clear of me if I decided to defend myself properly. Most of the time I didn’t do anything to defend myself and I’d just cry quietly to myself at home. If my mother found out I had been bullied she usually didn’t have sympathy for me at all; in fact she genuinely became angry at me and wanted to know how I could let any of these peers take advantage of me or beat me up.

I learned to avoid and isolate myself from children in my school and at times I’d fight back when enough was enough and I had had my fill. I certainly didn’t mind fighting back and I at times learned how to adequately defend myself from my father’s tantrums and misdirected anger.

I never celebrate Father’s Day here on my Facebook wall but I know it’s a special day for at least a few blessed people out there in social media who knew what it felt like to be deeply loved unconditionally and respected by their fathers.

I leave this here on my wall not to garner sympathy but to help others understand that we don’t all celebrate this Holiday. Some of us don’t to this day understand why we ended up with the parents we had. I know a psychic reader I hired last year acknowledged to me what I had already known. My father was indeed a Channel for Spirits…all Spirits even Malevolent Spirits. He couldn’t control what he received so the doctor’s misdiagnosed his clairvoyance and prescribed him with pills and other medications that no doubt made his visions that much worse and skewed his reality further.

My parents were VESSELS …they were important in that they brought me here. I’m alive and I myself am clairvoyant and clairsentient and clairaudient. I know how to ground my own energies and I’ve never allowed any entity to ” take over the steering wheel ”

I can filter what it is I wish to receive and I function well on my own independently . I truly do not desire nor crave anyone else to “compliment” or “complete” me. I’ve had so many things taken from me but I’ve endured it and I’m content. I would never refuse genuine help if it were offered up to me but I learned the hard way that help is rarely offered unless there are “strings” attached.

My upbringing made me more sensitive and strong. I learned not to expect too much from anyone and I learned as I got into adulthood that people you date can abandon you when you need them the most especially if you let your guard down and bared your true feelings to them.

Anyone can disappoint you at anytime. The key to being truly happy is self reliance, self respect and unconditional self love. You must be there for yourself and learn to hold your own hand during the darkness.

By the way I do not give readings to anyone.  I sometimes might give my clients advice and pick up information they may need to hear from their Spirit Guides or “higher power “; but I don’t want to “probe” anyone I don’t know personally and interfere in their journey.

My psychic abilities have lead me to understand that I should place complete faith in myself first because of my own bodily signals or slight panic attacks.  I learned from firsthand experience that if I do not honor my own intuition I will be misled or reap the consequences of being completely taken advantage of by people who don’t have my best interests in mind.

I have experienced what it feels like numerous times not to be listened to and not to be taken seriously especially by people who were in a position to guide me or offer me help.

I suggest that if any of you reading my blog get a nagging gut feeling within you that some path isn’t right for you that you honor yourself first and pay close attention to your body’s signals.  If you feel nauseous or sweaty or truly ill before a decision you’ve made you may need to change your intended course of action and back away and try another alternative plan.

No one will be able to predict an outcome for you because we always have free will and the ability to change our minds frequently.  In honor of Father’s Day seek out answers within you more often.  Never question your own intuition and never put all your faith in one entity or one set way of doing something.

In honor of Father’s day learn to create sacred space within yourself first. When you wake up each day keep track of your thoughts.  Are you sending comforting thoughts to yourself and your physical body or are you silently criticising yourself ?

You alone carry all the answers within you and you alone intuitively understand how and where to begin the process and long journey of self healing and renewal.

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Couples Tantra in Chicago to help regenerate trust in your relationship and self awareness.

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Dear Audience, I hope everyone here had a peaceful Labor Day Holiday. I myself balanced play, work and some wonderful fun self love activities into my weekend.

I met a wonderful couple this weekend from Missouri and it was their first opportunity to receive couples Tantra so not only were they open to touch but they came here to Chicago without any misconceptions, bias, bad experiences or expectations.

I feel that when you are open to what the energy of Tantra Yoga and Tantra Massage can do for you and your relationship you end up receiving so much more than what you could have possibly anticipated. Of course when you have misconceptions and you base your new experience on sex videos then yes you might be let down. Not everyone is going to receive multiple orgasms the first time they come to work with me with their partner. Some people feel a tingling in their limbs or a gentle heat vibration along their spinal column but do not actually have the ability to reach orgasm in front of their partner especially not if they are shy or self conscious when meeting with a sex educator.

I am so pleased when people are just open to sensing their own energies and finally being aware of the transference of energy from their own body to their partner’s body. We have a tendency to numb our body’s ability to sense touch and tantra yoga and massage helps your body open up so that your concerns are gone and all you are aware of is your own body. You might feel weightless or timeless during a couples tantra ceremony and my goal is to make both of you feel more vital, awakened but centered and calm.

The following is a testimonial I just received and I am happy to share it with all of you especially if you have never tried a couples tantra session before in the hopes that you will understand what Tantra Massage can do for you and your frame of mind.

Goddess Diana,
Thank you for your gift of touch this past weekend and thank you for accommodating my wife and I for our second year anniversary and making this a most unique Labor Day Holiday. My wife encouraged me to try tantra through out the years we dated but I really was not ready for the journey and honestly I had no real idea besides videos we had watched together what Tantra Massage or Tantra yoga practices involved. I don’t normally even receive massages and when you touched me and I could actually feel your presence I understood exactly what I’ve been missing all this time and now I do realize I have a lot of “catching up” to do.

I could feel your energy move through me and when you and I started working on my wife I felt a tingling sensation vibrating between my fingers and my wife’s skin as if we were electrically charged and feeding each other energy. I almost felt weightless and timeless if I can put all this into words for you. We scheduled you for a full three hours and to me it felt like we spent a good seventy five minutes together because our session moved through so quickly and without effort. I had no expectations and I just trusted you to guide me.

My wife and I were tingling for hours after our session and we both felt awake but peaceful at the same time. I can say I felt safe, loved, renewed and peacefully content after our couples session. Also I am so happy with your hotel suggestion because we had a gorgeous view of the city and loved the spa bath that we all shared together so now I even know of a great place to stay in the future the next time we visit Chicago.

I want you to know I am more open now to the possibility of exploring other aspects of Tantra and I do now wish to learn more about the energy centers involved especially when you helped activate my sexual energy. Our session as a couple this weekend meant a lot to us and I am now better prepared to want to explore other venues like tantra workshops because I feel a lot less self conscious about this entire journey. Your patience, your compassion and your ability to infuse laughter into our ceremony has left a strong impression on me. I guess I never valued touch till I saw the smile on my wife’s face this weekend and I never felt so open and ready to learn more! Thank you for being so generous with your time. I know I paid you for three hours but I noticed maybe it went on a bit longer even though the time went so fast. Next time we might see you for a whole day if we have the time and if you are still in Chicago.

Thank you again for taking the time to reach deep within me and helping me feel and sense energy I never felt before. I never realized how touch starved I was or how energetically charged a good massage could be till I experienced your touch! I realize now that touch, sexual chemistry, love, connection, and energy are all interwoven. I am even expressing myself much differently than I used to and I am thankful for people like you that actually do have passion for the work they do! I don’t ever want to let myself get so “shut down” again.

Jonathon and Krysten from Kansas, Missouri

As I leave you with this information and thoughts to ponder I invite you to peruse my website for additional offerings just in case you have that urge to free up your own energy or come visit me here in Chicago or sponsor me in your city for Couples Tantra Massage. Please visit my main site at http://www.tantrabutterfly.com and then call me directly here at 312-339-7707

I look forward to your call.
Goddess Diana of http://www.tantrabutterfly.com