Today I’d love to help people understand the difference between raw, naked, passionate lust and true, intimate, compelling love making. Did you know you can make love to your lover without laying a finger on him or her? Did you know the preparation which leads up to the love making shows more care and concern than engaging in a raw, sexual encounter.
Almost all of us can appreciate that as young teenagers or college age adolescents we all had at least one sensual encounter where raw lust rather than love was involved. I feel that women have more of a tendency to give of themselves when they think they are in love and that women must feel safe before engaging in any sexual activity with someone she has chemical feelings for.
There is a difference between raw, impassioned chemistry and the vulnerability of being in love with someone.
When I work with men on Goddess worship my intention is to hopefully teach them how to use their voice, their eyes, their hands and their gentle intentions in a more loving and sensual way to instill a sense of calm, peacefulness and ease in their lover. No one likes being “seized” or hungrily groped during a love making session.
My true intentions are to help alleviate shyness and awkwardness between a man and is lover by teaching him to be less needy and more natural. Women are very sensitive beings and we love to approached with tenderness and not so much a sense of urgency or neediness. When men are too needy and focus on touch only from a place of desperation and lack then women tend to coil up and retreat back into themselves which will only make a man feel even more vulnerable and misunderstood. If a man is patient enough to listen to his lover’s body and get a sense of her body’s reaction to more gentle touches and strokes then his reward will be her yielding and he will feel her soften and invite more touch to the love making session.
Making love is always an art. When you dine out with someone special you want to take time to listen to your friend and you want to be non rushed. You are there for companionship not necessarily to gobble your food down as greedily and speedily as you can with a sense of urgency and impending doom. This is why men wish to learn tantra yoga and goddess worship.
Goddess worship is not BDSM. Goddess worship is the art of being open enough to listen and send loving vibes into the arena of sensual foreplay. You want to learn how to approach your lover with true compassion and not so much a motive or agenda. You are not there to “get her off” or fulfill your lustful needs. You are there to support her as a real woman who has vulnerability. You want to send her soothing sounds and make sure she feels safe in your presence. You should also be prepared for her to lay out a set of strong boundaries for you and if you hear her say she needs some time out from sensual play then you need to honor her wishes and let her feel safe enough to tell you what she needs more of or less of.
The session is about her and not you so please stand back and do not let your “ego” get in the way. Goddess Worship is an honoring of her divine feminine and her gentleness. You want to give her time to expand her heart towards you so that she feels safe and more receptive to your touch. Do not be impatient for instant results and do not make her feel self conscious if she can not have an orgasm in front of you. Orgasm is not the goal of a Goddess worship healing; orgasm is a delightful surprise that happens quite by accident with the main focus being her complete healing and deep feeling of being loved and honored by you.
Lust does not enter as part of the Goddess worship ceremony. Lust is a reaction to pure sexual attraction but if you are a true healer you do not have to be sexually attracted to your partner to heal her. You are there to make her feel safe and more feminine. You are the compassionate soul who loves her without conditions or ulterior motives.
The heart can become more guarded through years of repeated abuse either during the formative years of childhood or young adulthood dependent upon our encounters with the same sex and the opposite sex. Goddess worship helps heal those old wounds and traumas and brings two compassionate lovers closer together. You can share and trust more if you learn the basic healing techniques of Goddess worship and tantra massage.
I love working with men who have had no prior experience in tantra or Goddess worship. It is harder for me to teach men how to touch with love if they are visiting me for the wrong reasons. Tantra will heal you whether you decided to visit a goddess out of pure lust or whether you felt the need to be pampered for a few hours. There is no getting around the healing and you will find out you learn more about patience, empathy and unconditional love if you let yourself go and try to learn something new rather than follow the same old recipe.
Muse, Educator, friend, Holistic Healer,
Couples Coach and Tantra Massage therapist