Posts from the “lucid dreaming” Category

Today is Father’s Day 🧸

Today is Father’s Day but I don’t miss my biological father who physically kicked my mother in the stomach when she was carrying me in her womb. In fact I still don’t respect my own mother who is also deceased because what kind of mother remains married to a man who would attempt to threaten the life of her unborn child?

I’m posting this information not to garner any sympathy but to help people understand that not all of us here had desirable childhoods or pleasant memories of our parents during these traditional Hallmark card American created Holidays.

I’m not even a tad bit sentimental or regretful today because both my parents failed me and they were in a sick codependent relationship with one another and when my mother found out my father was schizophrenic she was even considering an abortion and deeply worried that I myself would develop schizophrenia like my father since it is after all hereditary.

Well my father had a complete nervous meltdown when my mother became pregnant and she told me he had kicked her hard then spent several months in treatment in the hospital for his mental condition.

Medication and talk therapy can only do so much for anyone suffering from delusions and I knew my father became a completely different person when he got angry with me or my mother. You could literally see his dark, black pupils become so enlarged his brown eyes became pitch black and he no longer looked human.

My father was very abusive to me…I have good memories of him when he showed genuine compassion towards me but his cruelty outweighed anything good he showed me and If I could go back in time as a young child I’d love to relive all those scary instances but ideally I would have left my home physically and spent more time outdoors or at the library and escaped his blind rages.

Not every father is ideal for the position of parenting so only a handful of lucky people out there had good, healthy relationships with their mothers and fathers. At the very least some of us as children were blessed to have a good role model either in the form of an uncle, a teacher or a close family friend.

I myself spent a good part of my childhood and puberty hiding in fear from my father who was not only diagnosed with schizophrenia but truly possessed by demonic entities. I’d love to understand what on earth I must have done in a previous incarnation to deserve such a frightening childhood but I know it shaped my character and made me a more sensitive child more empathetic than my peers.

I remember also being bullied by children my own age from five years old to age 16. At times I’d defend myself and the children would eventually learn to steer clear of me if I decided to defend myself properly. Most of the time I didn’t do anything to defend myself and I’d just cry quietly to myself at home. If my mother found out I had been bullied she usually didn’t have sympathy for me at all; in fact she genuinely became angry at me and wanted to know how I could let any of these peers take advantage of me or beat me up.

I learned to avoid and isolate myself from children in my school and at times I’d fight back when enough was enough and I had had my fill. I certainly didn’t mind fighting back and I at times learned how to adequately defend myself from my father’s tantrums and misdirected anger.

I never celebrate Father’s Day here on my Facebook wall but I know it’s a special day for at least a few blessed people out there in social media who knew what it felt like to be deeply loved unconditionally and respected by their fathers.

I leave this here on my wall not to garner sympathy but to help others understand that we don’t all celebrate this Holiday. Some of us don’t to this day understand why we ended up with the parents we had. I know a psychic reader I hired last year acknowledged to me what I had already known. My father was indeed a Channel for Spirits…all Spirits even Malevolent Spirits. He couldn’t control what he received so the doctor’s misdiagnosed his clairvoyance and prescribed him with pills and other medications that no doubt made his visions that much worse and skewed his reality further.

My parents were VESSELS …they were important in that they brought me here. I’m alive and I myself am clairvoyant and clairsentient and clairaudient. I know how to ground my own energies and I’ve never allowed any entity to ” take over the steering wheel ”

I can filter what it is I wish to receive and I function well on my own independently . I truly do not desire nor crave anyone else to “compliment” or “complete” me. I’ve had so many things taken from me but I’ve endured it and I’m content. I would never refuse genuine help if it were offered up to me but I learned the hard way that help is rarely offered unless there are “strings” attached.

My upbringing made me more sensitive and strong. I learned not to expect too much from anyone and I learned as I got into adulthood that people you date can abandon you when you need them the most especially if you let your guard down and bared your true feelings to them.

Anyone can disappoint you at anytime. The key to being truly happy is self reliance, self respect and unconditional self love. You must be there for yourself and learn to hold your own hand during the darkness.

By the way I do not give readings to anyone.  I sometimes might give my clients advice and pick up information they may need to hear from their Spirit Guides or “higher power “; but I don’t want to “probe” anyone I don’t know personally and interfere in their journey.

My psychic abilities have lead me to understand that I should place complete faith in myself first because of my own bodily signals or slight panic attacks.  I learned from firsthand experience that if I do not honor my own intuition I will be misled or reap the consequences of being completely taken advantage of by people who don’t have my best interests in mind.

I have experienced what it feels like numerous times not to be listened to and not to be taken seriously especially by people who were in a position to guide me or offer me help.

I suggest that if any of you reading my blog get a nagging gut feeling within you that some path isn’t right for you that you honor yourself first and pay close attention to your body’s signals.  If you feel nauseous or sweaty or truly ill before a decision you’ve made you may need to change your intended course of action and back away and try another alternative plan.

No one will be able to predict an outcome for you because we always have free will and the ability to change our minds frequently.  In honor of Father’s Day seek out answers within you more often.  Never question your own intuition and never put all your faith in one entity or one set way of doing something.

In honor of Father’s day learn to create sacred space within yourself first. When you wake up each day keep track of your thoughts.  Are you sending comforting thoughts to yourself and your physical body or are you silently criticising yourself ?

You alone carry all the answers within you and you alone intuitively understand how and where to begin the process and long journey of self healing and renewal.

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Astral travelling while receiving Sacred Spot Massage during Kundalini Shakti

Maya Derren The relector (meshes)I promised I would write a brief essay on a couple of experiences I had with clients who did actually go into a lucid/dream trance and were able to coherently share bits and pieces after our session so we could both enjoy the story of their “whereabouts” in the astral plane!

The first incident and the most profound took place during a trip I made to visit San Diego, California a few days after my mother died of cancer. At the time I was living in New Orleans and visiting my mother once a month in Chicago while keeping my client base in Chicago. I decided to visit San Diego and walk along the ocean and I attracted one individual who said he’d always wanted a session with me and was following my website for a long time but we were never in the same city during his business travels.

He admitted to me that he practiced yoga and meditation for a long time now and he enjoyed vision quests, transcendental meditation and tantra yoga was now part of his path so he told me he was very comfortable with me exploring his sacred spot and to feel free at the end to do this since he had no boundaries and was excited to try anything.

I had some beautiful music and in the background a man was taking you on a journey to the depths of the earth and you could hear sounds of the cave and dripping water from caverns.

At the end when I was triggering his sacred spot I noticed he actually convulsed steadily and his eyes rolled back till all I could see were the whites of his eyes. He was no longer with me and I did not know how to pull him back in but I figured I would just let him ride and not panic. After his eyes were rolled back for a considerable time he spoke in an Ancient language that sounded like Ancient Hebrew or Aramaic but it was incredibly real and lovely to listen to. Again I refused to panic and I just held the space for him to do what he needed to do.

Finally after he was triggered into full body orgasm he came back to me gradually breathing deeply and I asked him if he remembered speaking in tongues.

He looked blankly at me and said he had no recollection but could I share with him what he was saying. I said I can’t translate ancient hebrew but it was beautiful like a reverent chant and I really was not sure of the language origin but it was pretty so i was not scared.

He did say he had visions during his awakening and he said it involved two different goddesses. The first Goddess that encountered him danced around him in circles and she had a gold body and long, blood red hair. She danced and left. The second Goddess was the white goddess and she had long, silver hair and as she danced around him he realized she was going to become famous and author many books on tantra yoga.

I did not know what to say but I thanked him for sharing his story with me. I do know one thing with regards to tantra yoga. If a student comes to you with a pre knowledge of proper breath and the yoga postures then he or she will have a more profound experience rather than just telling you they felt some “heat”. He obviously trusted me enough to go into the astral plane and just zone out there for a while so I was very grateful to be a witness to his journey!

My second experience with astral travels occurred years later in the city of Chicago. I met a really nice, slightly out of shape man with a huge teddy bear heart. He was just so open and caring and when he arrived at my apartment he hugged me and he kept saying repeatedly that he felt like he has known me forever.

He also gave me permission to work with his prostrate and again I noticed he got very quiet at me towards the last half hour of our session. We were still together and I could still feel his energy near me but somehow his breathing became much heavier sounding and when it was again time for his full body awakening his entire body became electrical like a wire overflowing with energies. I did bring him back to reality and I encouraged him to speak about his journey.

He told me he saw the two of us in a very dark room, dimly lit only by the light of candles. He was wearing a heavy ceremonial crown upon his head and he felt the vibe was joyful and festive rather than being sombre. He knew for a fact we were together enjoying a joyous occasion in Ancient Egypt. I was so excited to hear this and I wanted to know what I looked like because when I participated in a DNA activation ceremony in Boulder, Colorado I heard a song of the Goddess Isis during my activation ceremony so I knew I was of her DNA lineage and she had importance to me.

He said it was too dark for him to see my face clearly but he knew it was me from my energy and my vibration. Well you can’t believe how excited I was to share this experience with a new client whom I had never met before! I felt deeply grateful that he was able to remember such detail as he traveled back into one of his past lives with me.

If anyone needs to know why I am so passionate about assisting people with the Sacred Sensual energies I think it is the unknown and all the wonderful unexpected surprises you can find and feelings of deja vu when you meet new clients who seem familiar to you on your path.

It takes a strong sense of self to put yourself in such a vulnerable and open position and if you can let yourself zone out and can fully trust your body takes you places and your spirit tunes into Universal flow so easily and so readily. Being receptive to these sexual energies is a gift and involved maturity, trust, joy and complete openness. One thing both of these men had in common was inner joy and a blind belief in the miracles of energetic healing. Both men trusted me with their sacred energy implicitly without holding anything back and without any cynicism.

If anyone wishes to learn more Sacred Spot Massage there are wonderful authors everywhere on the internet who compile a collective of stories but you can only “conjecture” when you read a book. If you are brave enough and willing to let go then I welcome you to take your first step with Sacred Spot Massage and we can go as slowly as you need working within your comfort zone and your boundaries.

Please visit my site http://www.tantrabutterfly.com and if you feel ready and if you do feel a connection to me I would be flattered to be your first Tantra Muse on your new path to self discovery and greater body awareness. Your third eye takes it’s own sweet time to awaken and Sacred Spot Massage assists you in your awakening process with gentleness and arousal of all your erogenous zones.

Goddess Diana Sensual Muse
http://www.tantrabutterfly.com
(312)339-7707