Archive for February, 2014

So how does one prepare oneself for the Big O ♬♫♩

How do you reach that place of serenity within your being that makes you feel so content you are not consciously aware of your needs or the environment around you?  When you are so agitated and frustrated that all you can think of is the big o you might become concerned and worried and question your abilities as a lover. 

When we experience severe trauma our physical body goes into shock.  We might receive triggers from our environment that sets off our body’s automatic reflexes.  We become short of breath or we notice we are clumsier and not as clear thinking as we should be.   Post traumatic stress disorder is a very common illness and like all illnesses can hinder our body’s ability to feel safe, loved and empowered.

Tantra yoga is an escape.  Tantra by itself is a vital technique of body awareness and mindful, body meditation because you are allowing yourself to shut off stimulus and just go inwards to tap into your own energy.  As you breathe you clench and unclench certain muscle groups and hold the energy inside your heart, your stomach region and your thighs and buttocks.  As you learn to separate each muscle group from each other you are opening up that chakra system and becoming more mindful of what is going on in your body.

Your body carries your unique energy signature.  Only you know your body and only you know how it feels to be stressed or full relaxed and open and flowing.

Tantra yoga teaches you not to second guess yourself.  As you breathe energy up higher into your crown chakra and your third eye you tap onto any intuitive abilities you might have but never reinforced.  If you want to learn how to have the most powerful, intense, life affirming orgasm you have to learn the secrets of your body’s landscape.  If you can fully relax and involve your entire body with the experience of full body pleasure then inherently you are training yourself to be fully orgasmic with or without stimulus. 

People can and will experience electrical and warm synapses of energy that feel like tingling sensations with repeated tantra meditation and practice.  This is not just book theory this is full body healing at its finest.  So what if you don’t have a beloved you can learn to feel these tingling sensations on your own by practicing the art of coming close to arousal then relaxing, breathing and backing off. 

Tightening your kegels and tightening your sphincter muscles then isolating each area will keep you in the moment and fully aware of the build up of CHI energy in your body.  You will even have orgasms in your sleep if you practice the pulsing and clenching of your muscle groups not just once in a blue moon but in a daily basis as part of your ritual.

So how do you prepare yourself for the big orgasm?  Sensual massage and tantra massage with mindful breathing should be a complement to your weekly routine.  If you can relax and not hold onto expectations of what you might have your reward is the full body arousal and build of sexual tension and flow.  

What does a sensual massage mean to you?  Is it a form of escape from your stress filled week?  Is it a decadent pleasure you allow yourself to indulge in because you are craving gentle touch?  Is it quiet time where you let go quiet your mind and drift off leaving your body far behind?

All I can say is that the students who have come to me without any expectations and without any pressure to perform are the ones who leave here deeply satiated and completely overwhelmed with a flood of energy that surpasses any of their expectations.  If you can explore, enjoy and let your guard down you will potentially be so open to energy flowing that any and all touch will simply send you over the top from the moment of your first tantra healing to the moment of simply stepping into the shower unaware.  You might be caught off guard and say WHAT WAS THAT?  And you know very well that that is your own delightful energy unhindered by self judgement or self deprecation.

You are a marvelous being.  You do deserve to feel complete full body pleasure and tantra is the art of being  a fully desirable, sensual and creative being Image

Won’t you come join me in setting up sacred space?  I long to teach you how to love and adore your divine essence.

Goddess Diana

How do we define our meaning of Goddess? What is a Goddess?

Define Goddess! What does it mean if a man yells out on the street to a gorgeous woman and says GODDESS !! Of course you would take it as a compliment right? I certainly would not mind if one of my clients honored me in a session, smiled at me with a genuine smile and told me he thought I was a goddess!
Goddess has so many meanings to different people though and sometimes a man might wish to hire a tantra professional and expect her to have the true qualities of a Goddess but his definition of goddess might be his personal opinion based on his belief systems and expectations.
For instance does goddess simply mean supernatural beauty in all aspects? Does goddess mean she must be tall, lean, statuesque, white or black, asian, oriental, arabic or harem like in all her aspects?
Does she have to be perfectly mannered or poised? Must she be perfectly manicured and have her hair long, wavy and in a cascade of curls or stick straight?

The more narrowly you define your goddess the more close minded you are becoming and the more close hearted you are to receiving the energy of the GODDESS.

Now why am I capitalizing the word Goddess? If you can’t see the divinity and spiritual beauty of any woman you are shortchanging yourself. You are now giving yourself a strict wish list by which to judge all women and you are missing the point of Goddess worship.

Goddess worship is the honoring of all women despite their physical appearances and attributes. If you are only seeking a physically perfect woman to give you instructions on tantra yoga you are never really going to understand the true meaning of tantra yoga which is the teaching of honor the divine SEED in everyone no matter how short, fat, tall, lean, awkward, clumsy or attractive your partner is.

When you partake of tantra yoga workshops, unless you yourself take your own partner you will be paired up randomly with someone you might not be physically attracted to and this in some way will challenge you to learn about unconditional love as you stare into your partner’s eyes for indefinite amounts of time and breathe together and chant.

Sooner or later you might find yourself in a group situation where you do not choose your partner but does this mean you can’t learn to honor her for certain aspects of her personality that might make you fall in love with her goddess energy? Can you let go of your expectations of what is true beauty and just allow yourself to fall in love with her smile or her laughter or her healing hands?

The term Goddess is used often. Some people confuse the title Goddess as a female dominant. I receive phone calls from men who think I am going to enslave them or gag them or punish them in a BDSM scenario. Yes there may be trouble makers out there on the internet who group me in with Masters and Slaves and Submissives but that is because they are not doing their research. They don’t do the reading on tantra yoga or the meaning of Goddess and how the energy of the goddess is akin to healer or shamaness.

I like to define the word Goddess as a benevolent being who is here, confident, ready and proud enough to show you your higher power. A goddess is like a teacher someone who is not here to judge you but not afraid to let you know what boundaries are and educate you on how you can share your love with your partner by being mindful, fully present and gentle when you speak or touch your lover at home.

If I were to gently correct you and educate you would you be able to step aside of your own ego just so you might learn a gentler way to be loving to your partner at home.
Just because I am a Goddess does not mean I am super human. I make mistakes all the time and sometimes my good intentions are confused for rudeness. I think listening and setting up safe boundaries are essential for any tantra session. If I am faced with prejudice even before our ceremony begins I then do not feel as comfortable or safe to do my part in honoring anyone who is a guest in my home or sacred space.

In Ancient Greece and Rome a Goddess is a Supreme Being who possesses supernatural powers and she can create rain or storms or sunlight. She can turn a man into a stag and she can ride a chariot across the skies. These are all fanciful stories that make up our archetypes and create mythology but a Goddess is a human a frail human that can only try and attempt to heal you if you are open and vulnerable enough to receive her for all her flaws and imperfections and healing abilities.

If you can honor any Goddess no matter what race, religion, creed and color and accept her as your friend, wife, mother and lover then you are ready to receive the Love of the Goddess and better able to heal the important women in your life that matter most to you.Image

Learning how to Let Go. We can’t “fix” anyone ❤

I have been a healer for 20 years now and in all these 20 years I still believe I have a lot to learn and can even possibly benefit from going back to college and learning psychology.

My work takes a lot of patience. I have to learn the difference between one of my clients being passive aggressive or simply not having the understanding of reading my cues.

I recently let go of a client who I only now realized suffers from Asperger’s syndrome. I don’t know how to treat Aspberger’s syndrome or how to spell it but I really had difficulty understanding his compulsive behavior and his rigidity. I know he suffered from severe clinical depression and he was diagnosed with depression from a clinical psychologist. What I did not know was he only saw his psychiatrist once in a blue moon so it was not “talk therapy” like a social worker but a twenty minute chat to figure out if the medication dosage was still strong enough and to find out if it was still the correct medicine for his treatment since bodies become tolerant and sometimes the antidepressant will stop working its magic.

What upset me was his admission to me that he was still a hardcore drinker and he paired his meals with a bottle of wine or more even though he was seeing me for tantra healings. I thoroughly enjoyed his company but one evening early this month he called me unannounced out of the blue and told me he was literally a mere 20 minutes away from me so could he stop by for a session.

He ended up being drunk and I saw him for all of three hours when he simply fell asleep on my bed. I did not mind as he had already paid me but usually when people schedule a longer session with me I am to be paid appropriately for my time but what do you do when your client falls asleep on your bed?

I tried maintaining boundaries with him but once we became face book friends he saw when I was online because during days when I am NOT busy I like to post pictures or poetry or write short essays here like journal entries so I can learn from my mistakes. He started sending me private messages not once or twice a day but 30 times a day and then wanted to make me cake and bring it on over to my home without booking a session just drop by here on the weekend. He also wanted another sleep over but I do not really offer sleep overs unless someone understands this is going to be an educational retreat and we are not going to “sleep together” but learn together and share sacred space with teachings. I am flexible I will share my time during the day OR evening but my bed and my space are my sanctuary and I like to have something for myself.

I sent him a long private message delineating my boundaries and explained to him that I have extended myself enough already and offered him deep discounts knowing he needs the attention but we are not “friends” or boyfriend and girlfriend and I don’t private message anyone 30 times a day because I have no desire to connect with anyone so often.

At first he seemed fine with the fact that I established my boundaries but then he got passive aggressive and said he would see me in two weeks even though I explained to him I don’t plan my life that far in advance just in case I wish to travel and enjoy some warmer weather elsewhere.

He then said plans were only tentative and so I let it go had some much needed energy work done on myself and came home only to find my phone was flooded with work from some very positive people visiting Chicago. After a day filled with sessions I opened up my email box only to find that he was commanding me to remove the testimonial he had written me a year ago. I told him he need not worry I will not encroach up his space and his legal name is not being displayed on my site so he should not be concerned. He sent me hate mail indicating that I am hard to figure out and I have the early symptoms of bipolar disorder. I know for a fact I don’t have bipolar disorder but I did recommend he stop mixing his antidepressants with alcohol because it distorts the mind and makes you act impulsively. So there after a full year and a half of giving of my time generously and supporting his progress I realized I may have potentially harmed this person more than helped him as he misread my generosity for “love”. I took him at face value I accepted his behaviors and never judged but my actions gave him the idea that this was a “relationship” not a Healing. I did enjoy his company and his opinions but what I did not understand till now is he has asperger’s syndrome and he lacks the skills necessary to read me or know how to behave based on my cues. I had no intention of ever abandoning him but I was advising him that talk therapy is very crucial to treating depression. I am going to assume that his depression is caused because of his loneliness and his divorce. I don’t believe his divorce was his idea because he told me that every Valentine’s day who ever he is dating he “dumps” and so this week he decided to break all ties with me so he could live out that same scenario.

I can only hope he decides for himself that this is no longer a life he wishes to lead if each time he connects with anyone he must abandon them before they abandon him. He does have anger around him and I am still trying to cleanse my space to let that anger leave my home and not affect me.

Here are the cues that someone has asperger’s syndrome :

Engaging in one-sided, long-winded conversations, without noticing if the listener is listening or trying to change the subject
Displaying unusual nonverbal communication, such as lack of eye contact, few facial expressions, or awkward body postures and gestures
Showing an intense obsession with one or two specific, narrow subjects, such as baseball statistics, train schedules, weather or snakes
Appearing not to understand, empathize with or be sensitive to others’ feelings
Having a hard time “reading” other people or understanding humor
Speaking in a voice that is monotonous, rigid or unusually fast
Moving clumsily, with poor coordination

I ONLY now found this online and it matches most of the aspects of my former client’s personality. I wish I would have understood more fully the nature of his condition so I could have handled his feelings more carefully. I have a lot to learn. I am not a licensed clinical psychologist but I do understand a lot of human nature since I come into contact with many people over the phone and in my tantra yoga practice. I feel upset that his “therapist” is not insisting that this man receive talk therapy 2 or 3 times a week so he can learn social clues and boundaries. I like to withdraw from all contact because I need space to process the energy I receive but something tells me this man would heal if someone could teach him about empathy and reading cues.

When someone lacks empathy they can not place themselves in anyone’s shoes. They can not fully understand why someone has spiritual values or has faith or cries or worries. They don’t feel they think things through. When I worked with this man’s energy I would ask him to pause, breathe and share with me any energetic sensations he might be having. Instead of sharing feelings with me he told me he felt floaty and was at peace. Well that is all fine and good but he never shared rage, or pain, or tingling sensations or hunger pangs. I felt at times that I was working with a cold, emotionless robot but I would not get upset I would just try to understand where he was coming from. I shared with him my out of body experiences and he seemed fascinated with my tales but to him these were just “tales” artful pieces of fiction I shared with him not my real experience as a healer. I believe in the paranormal simply because I have had so many intangible experiences that I either saw, heard or felt spirit move me. I truly felt sorry for this man and I don’t know how some people can go through the functions of leading normal lives but not having anything “move” them to tears or propel them to change their actions and try something different.

This man lead a very rigid, routine life. He would go home at a certain time or participate in “betting” while having a cocktail at a betting place. If he was not betting he would prepare himself a dinner then take photos of his dinner and describe what he had prepared. Another constant in his life was me so he placed me in that same “box” of “things” to do rather than a ceremony to share with sacred other.

Sometimes you just have to let go and I learned some important things this year about patience, understanding and learning how to just let go.
Diana new crop

Tantra is the Psychic Narration of full body healing and manifestation ❀✿

Tantra is the Psychic Narration of full body healing and manifestation ♬♫

January 31, 2014 at 4:48pm

Lately I am seeing an unwelcome trend these days.  Everyone seems to want quick and expedient results. They don’t want to wait they want to get to the top of their field in days not years.  They want to lose weight in weeks not months.  Anyone who truly cares about an ideal understands it is through patience, visualization and self healing that we achieve our goals.  We now live in a world where we can microwave almost anything we want.  We get bored –we flip on our television set or put on a DVD rather than get dressed, deliberate on a good film and go to the cinema.  If we get scared some of us go to the bars to hide from our loneliness.


What tantra teaches us is patience.  First we understand that there is a power or source of energy out there that feeds us.  If we learn to tap into this source of strength we can then have a stronger sense of self and we no longer simply ourselves as all male or all female we are both the convergence of yin and yang.  We embrace our strengths as divine male essence and divine female essences.  Here we are vulnerable and fresh and hopefully willing to release our need to control our emotions.  We are here not to control or enforce our will on others we are here to share ourselves and quietly acknowledge another person’s strength and weakness as our own.


If you are lucky enough in this lifetime to meet a soul mate or twin flame then you will naturally have this experience where there are no boundaries between you and your Sacred other because you are full of trust and you naturally want to give and share your energy with your beloved so you are free to express yourself without judging yourself –you just naturally pour out love and there is a circular rhythm of giving that forms a bubble of love back and forth.  This give and take is a chording or a bond of energy that is plugging your entire chakra system with your beloved.  Instead of these chords depleting your source of energy you feel the energy is limitless or without parameters or bounds.  It is a complete symbiosis of healing and you are joined as one. You even enter each other’s dream time without even trying and or you might find your phone rings right as you are thinking of your lover.  These energy chords become conmingled but instead of you feeling trapped or stifled you welcome the energies and you crave more.  Instead of you feeling Psychically drained you are fed and fully alive with awareness and self love by the reflection of your partner’s love for you.


If you are not yet on this journey of twin flame you might know what it means to feel a quieter or more serene rapture which is the sacred act of self love.  You have come to rely solely on yourself.  You yourself may have had a rougher journey than most.  Maybe you grew up without siblings or sound parentage.  You might have had to parent yourself and found a couple of strong role models who supported you and offered you guidance.  You might have learned the craft of self sufficiency but you might also be over armoring yourself and preventing any future soul mate connections by being so guarded.  Being guarded is NOT a bad thing.  These shields you created were set up to protect yourself from pain or manipulative behaviors.  A closed Chakra is NOT a bad thing but our energy needs to experience both the force of open flow and outpouring of loving energy and the natural stop of self preservation so you can take a healthy time out from too much infusion of other people’s energies bombarding you.


Tantra is the exploration of exploring safe and sane boundaries within yourself and your tantra partner.  As you exhale out your tantra partner learns to accept your vibration and inhales your breath taking your energies fully into their heart and blessing your energy with theirs then sending you back that blessing directly into your heart space.  You learn to share energy not label it.  You experience the heaviness and the lightness of energy that is not your own but you learn to accept it as your own without anger or judgement.  No one can steal or “take” your energy from you because we all receive energy from Source –we just have to know how to tap into that free energy from Source and clear our filters properly so we can make better use of the energy that is in abundance all around us. 


Having faith in a higher power is the first step in fine tuning your higher Chakra.  If you have complete trust that your higher power is there to support, uplift and sustain you then your crown chakra like an antennae will open up more easily.  When you have faith in a higher power you are better able to receive the warm energy flow and allow yourself to allow this source to sustain you and know there will be no lack of energy for you to feed freely and no lack of energy for you to share with your partner or people around you.  If you feel drained about  a situation that is not in your “control” that is the perfect time to shower yourself with this radiant self love or get together with someone you trust and just breathe together.  Having a ritual in your life connects you to source.  You might find a particular song soothes your soul.  You might have a movie that forces you to connect with your more loving, vital nature.  Perhaps you just adore being immersed in water especially salty waters.  These rituals are part of the Divine Sacred act of making love to your Higher Being.


We were created to be love.  We were created to experience our love and vibrate with creativity.  If a song compels you to close your eyes and envision yourself fully empowered then you owe that time and blessing for yourself.  If you can only feel loved by being nurtured or caressed then go to a spa or seek out a tantra healing so you can free your ability to be touched without shame or anger.  I have met people who have never even had a massage in their entire lifetime even though they were involved in jobs which required stamina and strength.  They never believed they were deserving of the experience but in order to give of yourself you must know what it feels like to receive touch and kindness. 


When you learn to flow with energies and when you learn to just let go and trust you expand your heart consciousness and you reunite with your higher grace.  Sacred union is not just the meeting of two twin flames Sacred Union is making love to yourself and feeling your full energies expand and quake all through your central nervous system. 


When you see how powerful, bright and full of hope you truly are you might first feel overwhelmed at having met yourself but I can assure you you won’t ever feel along again.  Our journeys take us forward to our goals but we always take a few steps backwards because of a bit of self doubt.  It can be kind of scary when you realize you are the captain of your own ship ❤Image