Posts from the “Sensory Perception” Category

Today is Father’s Day 🧸

Today is Father’s Day but I don’t miss my biological father who physically kicked my mother in the stomach when she was carrying me in her womb. In fact I still don’t respect my own mother who is also deceased because what kind of mother remains married to a man who would attempt to threaten the life of her unborn child?

I’m posting this information not to garner any sympathy but to help people understand that not all of us here had desirable childhoods or pleasant memories of our parents during these traditional Hallmark card American created Holidays.

I’m not even a tad bit sentimental or regretful today because both my parents failed me and they were in a sick codependent relationship with one another and when my mother found out my father was schizophrenic she was even considering an abortion and deeply worried that I myself would develop schizophrenia like my father since it is after all hereditary.

Well my father had a complete nervous meltdown when my mother became pregnant and she told me he had kicked her hard then spent several months in treatment in the hospital for his mental condition.

Medication and talk therapy can only do so much for anyone suffering from delusions and I knew my father became a completely different person when he got angry with me or my mother. You could literally see his dark, black pupils become so enlarged his brown eyes became pitch black and he no longer looked human.

My father was very abusive to me…I have good memories of him when he showed genuine compassion towards me but his cruelty outweighed anything good he showed me and If I could go back in time as a young child I’d love to relive all those scary instances but ideally I would have left my home physically and spent more time outdoors or at the library and escaped his blind rages.

Not every father is ideal for the position of parenting so only a handful of lucky people out there had good, healthy relationships with their mothers and fathers. At the very least some of us as children were blessed to have a good role model either in the form of an uncle, a teacher or a close family friend.

I myself spent a good part of my childhood and puberty hiding in fear from my father who was not only diagnosed with schizophrenia but truly possessed by demonic entities. I’d love to understand what on earth I must have done in a previous incarnation to deserve such a frightening childhood but I know it shaped my character and made me a more sensitive child more empathetic than my peers.

I remember also being bullied by children my own age from five years old to age 16. At times I’d defend myself and the children would eventually learn to steer clear of me if I decided to defend myself properly. Most of the time I didn’t do anything to defend myself and I’d just cry quietly to myself at home. If my mother found out I had been bullied she usually didn’t have sympathy for me at all; in fact she genuinely became angry at me and wanted to know how I could let any of these peers take advantage of me or beat me up.

I learned to avoid and isolate myself from children in my school and at times I’d fight back when enough was enough and I had had my fill. I certainly didn’t mind fighting back and I at times learned how to adequately defend myself from my father’s tantrums and misdirected anger.

I never celebrate Father’s Day here on my Facebook wall but I know it’s a special day for at least a few blessed people out there in social media who knew what it felt like to be deeply loved unconditionally and respected by their fathers.

I leave this here on my wall not to garner sympathy but to help others understand that we don’t all celebrate this Holiday. Some of us don’t to this day understand why we ended up with the parents we had. I know a psychic reader I hired last year acknowledged to me what I had already known. My father was indeed a Channel for Spirits…all Spirits even Malevolent Spirits. He couldn’t control what he received so the doctor’s misdiagnosed his clairvoyance and prescribed him with pills and other medications that no doubt made his visions that much worse and skewed his reality further.

My parents were VESSELS …they were important in that they brought me here. I’m alive and I myself am clairvoyant and clairsentient and clairaudient. I know how to ground my own energies and I’ve never allowed any entity to ” take over the steering wheel ”

I can filter what it is I wish to receive and I function well on my own independently . I truly do not desire nor crave anyone else to “compliment” or “complete” me. I’ve had so many things taken from me but I’ve endured it and I’m content. I would never refuse genuine help if it were offered up to me but I learned the hard way that help is rarely offered unless there are “strings” attached.

My upbringing made me more sensitive and strong. I learned not to expect too much from anyone and I learned as I got into adulthood that people you date can abandon you when you need them the most especially if you let your guard down and bared your true feelings to them.

Anyone can disappoint you at anytime. The key to being truly happy is self reliance, self respect and unconditional self love. You must be there for yourself and learn to hold your own hand during the darkness.

By the way I do not give readings to anyone.  I sometimes might give my clients advice and pick up information they may need to hear from their Spirit Guides or “higher power “; but I don’t want to “probe” anyone I don’t know personally and interfere in their journey.

My psychic abilities have lead me to understand that I should place complete faith in myself first because of my own bodily signals or slight panic attacks.  I learned from firsthand experience that if I do not honor my own intuition I will be misled or reap the consequences of being completely taken advantage of by people who don’t have my best interests in mind.

I have experienced what it feels like numerous times not to be listened to and not to be taken seriously especially by people who were in a position to guide me or offer me help.

I suggest that if any of you reading my blog get a nagging gut feeling within you that some path isn’t right for you that you honor yourself first and pay close attention to your body’s signals.  If you feel nauseous or sweaty or truly ill before a decision you’ve made you may need to change your intended course of action and back away and try another alternative plan.

No one will be able to predict an outcome for you because we always have free will and the ability to change our minds frequently.  In honor of Father’s Day seek out answers within you more often.  Never question your own intuition and never put all your faith in one entity or one set way of doing something.

In honor of Father’s day learn to create sacred space within yourself first. When you wake up each day keep track of your thoughts.  Are you sending comforting thoughts to yourself and your physical body or are you silently criticising yourself ?

You alone carry all the answers within you and you alone intuitively understand how and where to begin the process and long journey of self healing and renewal.

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Tantra to calm your mind and amp up your capacity for Eros!

It’s time for me to blog again! Every so often I am drawn to my online habit of writing because just like energy work I always find great pleasure in letting my fingers etch out my thoughts. Creative writing has always been something I loved so it doesn’t surprise me that I find myself here trying to spark up anyone’s interest in Tantra Yoga through the written medium!

First if you haven’t found my main tantra website I wish to include a link in here for you to peruse ~> http://www.tantrabutterfly.com. My site was first developed by a client of mine and he and I exchanged a few tantra sessions so that he could put together the bare skeletal system of my ongoing tantra process and

Marilyn Monroe at ringling brothers circus at a charity event

Marilyn Monroe at ringling brothers circus at a charity event

project. Lately I am immersed in writing here because this word press site costs me nothing to upload fresh content for you and It helps me with SEO that I don’t have to pay for.

In case you don’t know me personally I have been a sensual healer since my early twenties and have never worked for anyone but myself no matter how busy I got or how sluggish I am with the occasional lapse of work. In the past two years I have taken my tantra show on the road and took my two beautiful pets with me sharing rides with strangers or chipping in with gas if someone requested gas fare to get to where we needed to go.

Now I find myself in Washington D.C. which of course borders Virginia and Maryland. I picked this area for the past month and a half so I could run into old guests from my past and hopefully catch people in transition or en route to their ultimate destinations while they are headed to work or vacation.

Whether or not you are familiar with tantra or new to tantra in Washington D.C. there are some simple things to know about how this type of massage can potentially change you.

First of all this is a form of energy work so if you have any unfinished business buried in your psyche or sub conscious mind they will come to be awakened during or shortly after our session is over. I can’t always promise it will be a pleasant memory but it will be healing for you as we learn to help you peal away debris and old layers of your persona.

Nothing would delight me more than to have you deliriously laugh and or giggle during and after our time together because that sometimes happens as a result of triggering kundalini shakti. I can assure you you will leave completely altered and changed. You might taste food with acumen to the point where bitter is too strong for you or salt too salty for your taste buds to endure.

You might see colors more intensely and your sense of audio might be crisper and well honed. All these sensory awakenings are part of your body’s unique way of adapting to the new you. You should not feel afraid if your mouth vibrates with pleasure or your finger pads and toes are tingling. All of these symptoms are clear proof that your energy has been fully activated during our shared Tantra Ceremony.

Tantra Yoga and Tantra Massage promotes full body healing and wellness. We will be breathing deeply and soundly during our time together and so much of your own natural oxygen will be used throughout your entire body building stamina and strength in your erogenous zones and all your energy circles or chakras.

When I work on people I feel fed because I am being of use. I am quieting and unwinding your mind and body helping you feel safe and grounded. My tantra techniques are enhanced and amplified by my own natural ability to spend more time on areas of your body that I feel are problematic or blocked. For instance, if you recently suffered from a trauma or injury I may intuitively spend more of my time on that part of your body helping you breathe pleasure into those areas that were bringing you discomfort.

Sensual energy is intensely powerful and any journey we take together will be special with it’s own outcome whether it be rage, joy, increased abilities to understand yourself or a more tender heart that is awakened within you.

Many people leave my space feeling more elevated, hopeful and Compassionate and that is honestly what my goals are for you; but some people who have deep seated trauma or self loathing or guilt might feel enraged or unsure of themselves either because of their upbringing or due to what they believe is right or wrong morally.

I feel tantra is medicine for your soul and the biggest muscle I hope to awaken in you is your ability to love and we do this together, face to face as I endeavor to open up your heart chakra wider and wider till you feel an overflow of self love and more compassion for others.

Join me in yab yam or mutual cuddling if that interests you more. Ask me questions as we go along because I want you to understand every hand placement and every shared gaze. I don’t want you to leave feeling confused or “cheated” because you were too afraid to ask for something special that peaked your curiosity. When we meet together for the first time we will have a chance to laugh, chat briefly and if you are a beginner I want to know one or two goals that we can fit into our tantra session. The only people that leave here unenlightened are those individuals that had expectations of me or themselves that were not explored or met. Just remember you are a beginner and I am not completely telepathic. I might start out much slower than you wish during our first tantra session together especially if you have never mastered the breath or had any introduction to energy work before.

Please be patient with me and be loving and patient with yourself. You can’t become an expert at the tantra breath just by partaking and dabbling with one session or two spread far apart. You on your own have to have the desire to learn by practicing a little each day and by attending workshops and private classes that interest you. You can take one class a week in white tantra which is Kundalini tantra and helps you activate your hormones by chanting, holding poses and breathing slowly. If you take one white tantra class a week you are slowly adapting your body to the value of the breath work that needs to be done in order for you to transfer energy and charge up your energy centers during sensual awakenings.

You are encouraged to buy some books on the male and female orgasmic centers so you can practice at home by yourself or with your partner. You will learn how to breathe, charge up your own chakras and contract your kegels more readily by reading these books which include diagrams of the female and male sexual centers. Don’t just dabble in one session or two or jump from one tantra expert to the next. You are cheating yourself and you won’t be able to master the baby steps if you constantly starting and stopping with new people. New teachers can always enhance your awareness and peak your curiosity but if you can’t gain trust with one or two or three trusted masters of tantra you won’t have a sense of gaining more knowledge you will just be avoiding your own self. Self awareness and patience is developed through this practice so learn to take the baby steps first and eventually the breath will be so natural for you, you won’t even be thinking of consciously breathing into your chakras you will just be fully present in the moment and pulsing with energy!

I hope to meet you soon whether you have years of experience under your tantra belt or you have never even enjoyed a massage in all your adult years. I have worked with sex workers, virgins, patients recuperating from cancer, military men, corporate business women, housewives, and the very young adult male to older men in their mid seventies. I am dedicated to making you feel more alive, accepted and loved.

Fondly,
Your Sensual Muse Diana of http://www.tantrabutterfly.com
Best contact number (312) 339-7707