The primary focus of Tantra yoga should be enjoyment and pure energetic healing! Do not worry if you are a novice or if you have not felt sexual energy in ages. The goal should be healing, bodily awakenings, awareness of your own energy and the opening up of your entire Chakra bodies.
At the beginning of most tantra ceremonies you can either begin staring into the eyes of your partner or offering your special guest a healing and deep tissue massage to simply relax the body and establish a state of mutual trust and bonding.
I use an everything but the kitchen sink approach to my tantra healings because the chakras respond to smell, breath, touch, crystals, sound and pulsation exercises.
At the bottom of our tailbone is our Kundalini shakti our seat of bliss so we want to breathe awareness into our tail bone area and constantly apply gentle and rhythmical pressure so that we are consciously activating our kundalini shakti. Once we gently awaken our kundalini we want to guide the energy upwards by a constant flow of slow breath and visualization. It’s wise to be very gentle and patient during any beginner’s tantra session and if your partner is exhausted or sensing panic talk through the pain or the exhaustion. We have bodily “memories” that we have stored over a number of years so as we evolve and experience blissful states or pleasure we are also aware of any “blockages” we might have ignored just to “survive”.
The act of breathing or rebirth breath allows you to introduce oxygen back to all your cells and you begin to use your diaphragm muscles properly and with intention so the breath might not seem easy or natural to you at first but once you practice by yourself every day you begin to experience gentle activation of your kundalina shakti in your sleep. The vibrations are very pleasant and you might here a soft buzzing sound and warmth traveling from your tail bone and all the way up slowly towards your neck. You will actually feel this warmth and electricity in each of your vertebrae if you are practicing the breath and kegel exercises in increments. Be aware of your body and how you feel as if you are astral projecting but you still feel “safe”.
If after your first tantra session you are confused never be afraid to research more information by reading books or seeking the help of a trained tantra yoga educator or professional. If you felt embarrassed or ashamed let your teacher or therapist or lover know what you are going through so you can process the experience and understand yourself more.
Tantra involves opening up your entire body to the experience of bliss. We are not necessarily going after an end result of orgasm rather we are teaching you how to be more grateful and more open so you can feel pleasure more profoundly and use your sexual energies to heal and open up all the chakra systems in your body.
I love using music, singing, crystals, laughter, shamanism and breath during my sessions but there are many unique paths to bliss just as long as you are patient with yourself and open about your goals. Expectation can get in the way of your own bliss. Have a goal set into place but be truly willing to let of of your angst if you do not see that goal come to its fruition immediately. Sometimes we might have lofty goals but our bodies might not be physically evolved or capable enough to receive intense energy if we have not explored certain aspects of our sacred sexuality.
Be patient with yourself. Be patient, open and loving with your partner and teacher and you will find that the opening up of kundalini shakti will be an exploration of your emotional and physical development so you can attain the level of freedom and bliss you deserve.