When you are fully prepared to connect with your partner’s energy be ready to honor your beloved and that means HONOR your beloved with praise and let all your passive aggressive anger fall to the way side. When you are fully present for your loved one you are going to agree that for this moment in time you are going to your hold your partner in the highest regard. Now is not a good time to mention that their eating habits are poor or that the hairstyle they chose is not suitable or becoming to their features. Forget all the bad things. Forget the buttons they seem to push when the two of you are arguing over something silly.
Here is what you need to focus on and these steps will instill a sense of trust and a fresh start.
Put aside your anger. You are going to heal your partner and you are going to gaze upon their features in a a completely calm steady gaze of unconditional love because this is your time to be a giver and you want to reassure your partner you find them stimulating enough to focus on. When you gaze quietly into their eyes try and keep a blank mind and don’t use a critical eye. We as humans are very intuitive and if your body language is giving off signals of anger or discontent your loved one will sense this in you and not feel comfortable enough to receive a healing from you.
Spooning and cuddling your partner is a simply connection exercise that is very tantra like in nature and very organic. You are holding a space for your partner and your cuddle will be soothing so pay attention to your partner’s body but don’t focus on the sexual areas. Avoid touching your partner’s nipples and avoid touching their gentles. This is not about “groping” or molesting your beloved to suit your urges; this cuddling exercise is about being the soothing embrace they need at the end of the day to fully unwind and be still. You will be breathing in synchronicity and breathing deeply and slowly using the gentle pressure of your bodies to fall into an even steady pace of trust and alignment.
When you have this spooning time try not to be in on a time clock. I want you to ditch your phones, turn off the television set and unplug your electronic devices. You are in the moment and your beloved needs to know they are more important than anyone or any work deadline. They alone are your world and the focus is on mutual healing and peacefulness.
Once you have had the time to cuddle ask your partner what kind of touch they might prefer. You can introduce stillness of hand placement where you hold your hands in stillness on their body for extended lengths of time and simply breathe with them. You can introduce light caress where you are lightly tickling their body with light strokes from your finger tips and your finger pads. You can ask them if they might prefer a hard, deep tissue massage that is invigorating. You can also introduce tapping and steadily but firmly tap on different parts of their body so they feel your energy. This is going to be a session determined on what THEY NEED and not what you THINK they might need.
Don’t play guessing games but truly ask your loved one what kind of touch they crave.
Remember this session is not about you and you need to leave your ego out of it. You are going to let your partner know how loved they truly are and how deeply honored and respected they should and will feel. It feels good to be honored and it feels even better to be listened to.