Funny I have this odd habit of reading poetry where ever I can find it. I can find poetry scribbled on art work at galleries; I can find poetry in the bathroom stalls written in night clubs and I find the saddest poetry on craigslist.com If I search for it. I read a sad little message today. Someone wrote the following… ” Bah humbug…I can’t wait for this day to be over…christmas without you ….”
Wow! I mean right now I am “dating” anyone nor am I in love with anyone or craving anyone I am just in “travel mode” which means I have the traveling jones and I am just grateful I am avoiding winter and the cold that comes with.
Being here in the now is where it truly is at. I am in the NOW today and I am in the NOW on New Year’s Eve and Yes I do have regrets and I do wish I could travel in this huge time machine and avoid making tragic mistakes I made when I was younger but I never regret spending holidays in serenity whether I am with people or by myself enjoying the company of my pets.
I guess I am lucky because I don’t have to have someone special in my life to feel complete although having a someone special is always going to be even more fun I just don’t understand why anyone would wish the day away if their loved one is gone for the holidays or they are in between relationships.
I am in a relationship with myself. As trite as that sounds I can find so many wonderful things to do like walk around the french Quarter and eat out with my dog just relaxing, taking photos of flowers and having random conversations with people I meet.
Tantra is about the NOW. Are you having a Good relationship with yourself NOW? I know some people are even afraid of going to a good play or movie all by themselves. Maybe they feel there is some stigma attached to be completely alone but it’s when you are alone that you are in the NOW. Consciously have that ongoing relationship with yourself. Are you only happy with a partner? Are you only happy in large gatherings where you know you will be seen?
I tend to be happiest when I have time to myself but SURROUNDED by people so if I wish to interact and be SOCIAL the option is there but if I wish to hide away and retreat and just take some steps away that option is there.
I love being alone. I only hope that if anyone reading this today is alone for Christmas they are finding ways to make this day special. What is so bad about being alone? Just place both hands around your heart center and send your heart a sacred smile. It’s okay to cry if you have to. Have a good cry if there is some trigger to this Holiday that makes you wonder about a lost love. Have that cry and get it out of your system… Hold onto your heart as you cry and send only unconditional love to that child inside of you that is misunderstood or ignored or treated unfairly.
You have the whole day to love yourself. You have the whole day to lick your wounds or create or destroy or let go of anything or anyone in your life that no longer brings you the joy and caring you deserve. Time to get rid of old habits or people that don’t appreciate you. We have gifts…appreciate any gift you have that consoles you whether it is a fondness for painting or literature or sports. Delve into anything that makes you feel comforted today. Today it’s not about how many lovers you have or how many friends invited you to parties. Today is about self awareness, self healing and self preservation. You can enjoy this day and be grateful that you are still on this journey to learn and grow and experience new arenas.
If today brought you pain be grateful because we learn from pain. If you ended up missing someone special then try and figure out what that person did for you that made you feel so loved. Can you send that same unconditional love to yourself without guilt?