Many years ago before 2013 I used to travel from city to city and I lived in Atlanta, Georgia for two years but traveled to different cities at least every three weeks.

Back then certain websites existed such as Tantra.com, the Goddess Temple website and I used to advertise on Eros Guide before being banned because I used the word “yoni” in the body of my advertisement.

Anyway I digress and if you don’t mind following me along here I typically write in stream of consciousness style and meander quite a bit; but eventually I promise to “get to the point”.

When I lived in Atlanta a really sweet retired teacher by the name if Gregory A. reached out to me via email. He was fascinated by my website and he had always wanted to try a tantra ceremony. He had been hiring high class prostitutes typically from ads on the Eros guide and even though he enjoyed himself he didn’t find these experiences very enriching.

Since I lived in Atlanta and he lived in Maryland with his ailing mother he decided to sponsor me and hire me for a full day of tantra and we would meet up in Washington DC. He sent me enough money for my traveling expenses and picked me up at the airport super excited to meet me. It’s like we had always been good friends.

After our fun weekend together he and I would meet up each time I’d travel to Washington DC or Manhattan, New York. We enjoyed eachother’s company, go out quite a bit for sushi and co create sacred space together. Mostly we just enjoyed exploring the city and engaging in mutual massage.

Gregory was a very thoughtful man and a giver. He genuinely adored women and even bought thoughtful gifts for me, his two daughters, his mother and his close female friends.

He did however feel regretful that he was no longer married and more than anything he wanted to remarry so he had proposed to his former girlfriend many times but she had a drinking problem and when she went to AA meetings she ended up meeting her true soul mate and so Gregory felt a bit discarded and resentful of her new boyfriend because he had always been there for her not only as a lover but as a dear friend.

Gregory would vent to me and share all these stories including the experience he had hiring Hayley, a young a beautiful call girl he developed a fondness for. This girl would advertise on backpacks and Gregory enjoyed her companionship so much he’d take her to extremely expensive restaurants and he even bought her a beautiful charm necklace. I think Gregory loved to romanticize that he would “rescue” her and marry her; but that never happened. She would ask him for money for her bills and she genuinely enjoyed his attentiveness and generosity but if you ask me she only saw him as a “sugar daddy” someone who would take her out and pay part of her rent and utility bills in exchange for her company and her beauty.

I always looked forward to meeting up with Gregory. He was extremely intelligent, great to talk to and very attentive and reassuring when you needed a sounding board and good advice. He had many interesting stories to tell and I thought of him as a great friend not just a client who needed my services. We always kept in touch even when i stopped traveling and when I had moved back to Chicago he sent me lovely gifts for the holidays just to make sure I knew that someone cared about me. He often mentioned he might visit me in Chicago because he loved baseball and the Chicago Cubs but sadly this never happened.

We met up again one last time in New York and we spent a few hours together enjoying tantra massage and a light lunch and then I never saw him again. He had asked me to marry him a few times but I rarely fall in love and I’d smile at him and politely decline awkwardly.

The only bad habit Gregory had was chain smoking. When he booked me for full day ceremonies or a weekend he constantly had to excuse himself to step outside and enjoy a smoke. He already had a fast metabolism and he was a very high energy kind of person who hated staying still so the smoking helped him focus and soothe his nerves.

We eventually lost touch with eachother sadly and he was mainly focused on his two daughters, taking care of his mother and traveling on cruises. He kept active with regards to animal sanctuaries and focusing on his youngest daughter when she needed to move back in with him full time during her advanced level college courses.

I tried calling him but he had changed his number and he stopped being active on Facebook. I was a bit concerned and hurt but didn’t want to bother him on messenger. It was only two months ago I noticed his two daughters and friends honoring his memory on his Facebook page. I then realized he must have passed away during covid, most likely because of his non stop smoking habit but I can’t be certain.

Anyway what I’m trying to say is Gregory was the primary caretaker of his older mother. There were times he’d share the fact that she was so sick he was almost certain she would die within months and when he inherits her home he would sell it and buy an apartment in Manhattan. He even suggested that he and I should share an apartment in New York together and split the costs but I couldn’t see that happening. Instead I always told him that when his mother dies he should keep her home and enjoy it so that his children will always have a place to live.

Instead Gregory died and his mother who is in her 90’s is still alive and currently being taken care of by her two granddaughters because I noticed his children posting her photo on his wall and assuring Gregory that they are taking care of Nonna.

I don’t know if Gregory ever truly loved himself to be ok with being alone and single. I’m not sure why he lost the will to live or perhaps he didn’t notice the toll that his life was taking on his body and his spirit. All I can say is you have to alright with just being by yourself and you should always make time for self care ❤ because if you are always focused on making others happy you will eventually run low yourself.

I hope that by reading this short story you don’t forget to take care of yourself first even if you prefer focusing all your attention on others. If your family relies on you heavily please don’t forget to take care of your needs even it it’s just a hot bath you draw for yourself at the end of the day.

If you find yourself physically drained or low on energy please reach out to me. I’m available for the Holidays and I never take a day off work because tantra brings me so much joy and personal fulfillment.

http://www.tantrabutterfly.com

312 339 7707

Tantragoddessdiana@gmail.com

Thanks for following my blog and please don’t feel shy or embarrassed about booking a #chicagotantra ceremony with me soon.