Posts tagged “yoga

Today is Father’s Day 🧸

Today is Father’s Day but I don’t miss my biological father who physically kicked my mother in the stomach when she was carrying me in her womb. In fact I still don’t respect my own mother who is also deceased because what kind of mother remains married to a man who would attempt to threaten the life of her unborn child?

I’m posting this information not to garner any sympathy but to help people understand that not all of us here had desirable childhoods or pleasant memories of our parents during these traditional Hallmark card American created Holidays.

I’m not even a tad bit sentimental or regretful today because both my parents failed me and they were in a sick codependent relationship with one another and when my mother found out my father was schizophrenic she was even considering an abortion and deeply worried that I myself would develop schizophrenia like my father since it is after all hereditary.

Well my father had a complete nervous meltdown when my mother became pregnant and she told me he had kicked her hard then spent several months in treatment in the hospital for his mental condition.

Medication and talk therapy can only do so much for anyone suffering from delusions and I knew my father became a completely different person when he got angry with me or my mother. You could literally see his dark, black pupils become so enlarged his brown eyes became pitch black and he no longer looked human.

My father was very abusive to me…I have good memories of him when he showed genuine compassion towards me but his cruelty outweighed anything good he showed me and If I could go back in time as a young child I’d love to relive all those scary instances but ideally I would have left my home physically and spent more time outdoors or at the library and escaped his blind rages.

Not every father is ideal for the position of parenting so only a handful of lucky people out there had good, healthy relationships with their mothers and fathers. At the very least some of us as children were blessed to have a good role model either in the form of an uncle, a teacher or a close family friend.

I myself spent a good part of my childhood and puberty hiding in fear from my father who was not only diagnosed with schizophrenia but truly possessed by demonic entities. I’d love to understand what on earth I must have done in a previous incarnation to deserve such a frightening childhood but I know it shaped my character and made me a more sensitive child more empathetic than my peers.

I remember also being bullied by children my own age from five years old to age 16. At times I’d defend myself and the children would eventually learn to steer clear of me if I decided to defend myself properly. Most of the time I didn’t do anything to defend myself and I’d just cry quietly to myself at home. If my mother found out I had been bullied she usually didn’t have sympathy for me at all; in fact she genuinely became angry at me and wanted to know how I could let any of these peers take advantage of me or beat me up.

I learned to avoid and isolate myself from children in my school and at times I’d fight back when enough was enough and I had had my fill. I certainly didn’t mind fighting back and I at times learned how to adequately defend myself from my father’s tantrums and misdirected anger.

I never celebrate Father’s Day here on my Facebook wall but I know it’s a special day for at least a few blessed people out there in social media who knew what it felt like to be deeply loved unconditionally and respected by their fathers.

I leave this here on my wall not to garner sympathy but to help others understand that we don’t all celebrate this Holiday. Some of us don’t to this day understand why we ended up with the parents we had. I know a psychic reader I hired last year acknowledged to me what I had already known. My father was indeed a Channel for Spirits…all Spirits even Malevolent Spirits. He couldn’t control what he received so the doctor’s misdiagnosed his clairvoyance and prescribed him with pills and other medications that no doubt made his visions that much worse and skewed his reality further.

My parents were VESSELS …they were important in that they brought me here. I’m alive and I myself am clairvoyant and clairsentient and clairaudient. I know how to ground my own energies and I’ve never allowed any entity to ” take over the steering wheel ”

I can filter what it is I wish to receive and I function well on my own independently . I truly do not desire nor crave anyone else to “compliment” or “complete” me. I’ve had so many things taken from me but I’ve endured it and I’m content. I would never refuse genuine help if it were offered up to me but I learned the hard way that help is rarely offered unless there are “strings” attached.

My upbringing made me more sensitive and strong. I learned not to expect too much from anyone and I learned as I got into adulthood that people you date can abandon you when you need them the most especially if you let your guard down and bared your true feelings to them.

Anyone can disappoint you at anytime. The key to being truly happy is self reliance, self respect and unconditional self love. You must be there for yourself and learn to hold your own hand during the darkness.

By the way I do not give readings to anyone.  I sometimes might give my clients advice and pick up information they may need to hear from their Spirit Guides or “higher power “; but I don’t want to “probe” anyone I don’t know personally and interfere in their journey.

My psychic abilities have lead me to understand that I should place complete faith in myself first because of my own bodily signals or slight panic attacks.  I learned from firsthand experience that if I do not honor my own intuition I will be misled or reap the consequences of being completely taken advantage of by people who don’t have my best interests in mind.

I have experienced what it feels like numerous times not to be listened to and not to be taken seriously especially by people who were in a position to guide me or offer me help.

I suggest that if any of you reading my blog get a nagging gut feeling within you that some path isn’t right for you that you honor yourself first and pay close attention to your body’s signals.  If you feel nauseous or sweaty or truly ill before a decision you’ve made you may need to change your intended course of action and back away and try another alternative plan.

No one will be able to predict an outcome for you because we always have free will and the ability to change our minds frequently.  In honor of Father’s Day seek out answers within you more often.  Never question your own intuition and never put all your faith in one entity or one set way of doing something.

In honor of Father’s day learn to create sacred space within yourself first. When you wake up each day keep track of your thoughts.  Are you sending comforting thoughts to yourself and your physical body or are you silently criticising yourself ?

You alone carry all the answers within you and you alone intuitively understand how and where to begin the process and long journey of self healing and renewal.

20190616_163642

Virginia Beach, Virginia is for Lovers of Tantra ❤ and couples Coaching.

david-bowie-1-800My travels have now taken me to Virginia Beach Virginia this week and I am quite in awe of the few wonderful new guests and lovers of Tantra I have met here!
Tantra is a very organic, natural experience which takes you into a state of deep trance and peacefulness. Many people here in Virginia Beach are already aware of the serenity of Tantra Massage and Tantra Yoga but I love to take my practice a notch or two or step above and beyond what you should normally experience during a Tantra frame of mind.
If you find yourself listless or just craving touch Tantra will recharge you because all touch held with sacred intentions can release your body’s abilities to heal itself.
Tantra is about conjoining your sacred energy with the person in front of you and being in a state of non judgement as you pass positive energy back and forth between each other.
If you feel yourself getting nervous or self conscious during a session with your Tantra Partner here in Virginia Beach just know I can help you feel less aware of your separateness just be the act of holding hands with me and breathing deeply or spooning each other with slow deep rhythmic breathing techniques.
I have never before been to Viginia Beach, Virginia and this happens to be the “off season” where people tend to want to stay at home during the colder weather. This is the ideal moment to join me for intimate healing and letting lose and shedding your layers.
I personally invite anyone here traveling through Viriginia Beach to receive my unique tantra healings. For me ❤ Tantra is always heart centered, mindful touch that transcends you, stimulates you, challenges you to reach deeper and simply makes your body and mind smile.
I love the interaction and cuddles that come as a care package with my vocation. If I were not such a lover of sensitive and caring, thoughtful touch I would never wish to engage on this level of deep intimacy with anyone. There is a difference here between raw, carnal, empty touch and skilful, respectful touch that heals you, vibrates you and makes you feel sacred.
Please give me a try. My main website http://www.tantrabutterfly.com is entertaining and I wrote each article from my heart as I keep changing my mindset and my personal journey as a Tantra healer and educator.
I hope to work with open minded lovers of Tantra yoga here in Virginia Beach and I am always excited to be sponsored if you have a workshop setting where you would like me to teach your small group of excited tantra couples anywhere in the Virginia or Washington D.C. area.

I try and keep myself child like and refrain from judging as I meet new people in all cities. What is most important to me is connecting with the right energies and the right group mind set where new guests are seeking to exchange some moments of blissfulness here in Virginia beach and elsewhere. Tantra is not about changing who you are but about the enhancement of your unique sensitivities. When you become more sensitive and self aware you become more “mystic”. We are all mystics on a journey. We learn that colors can heighten and intensify as we become one with the breath. Breathing and eye gazing are just two focal points of Tantra Yoga. When we let go enough simply to surrender to the moment we realize we are not separate from each other but intimately connected to each other no matter how different we “appear” to be.

Being separate is only the “illusion” and the natural state of Being is attaining a mindset of non judgement where touching is sacred and the placing of our hands from heart to sacrum helps open up our old wounds and “scarring” or scar tissue from the battle of being misunderstood.