I have not logged on here for a while and maybe it’s because I really did not feel the need to say much. I was online browsing a Tantra group on face book earlier this afternoon and there were several different tantra practitioners all debating about the true meaning of tantra. Besides involving the sexual aspects of Tantra yoga and Tantra massage we must closely examine our intentions as healers and students of tantra.
I can tell you honestly more than half the men who come to see me are simply “touch starved”. I work with men who are in loveless, sexless marriages where there is no loving touch or cuddling exchanged. I work with men who are single and have no time to be settled into a meaningful relationship because their focus in life in their work and career path. I work with men who are retired from the work force and they may have suffered as severe stress related injury and so they either rely on pain medications or find they can not be involved in a normal sexual relationship with anyone either out of shyness, a social phobia or a lack of desire from their injury.
I find that these past few years for me have been a harsh lesson in feast or famine. I either am so busy and in demand that I find myself turning away callers or I can go days without work due to bad timing issues and the fact that I have a life too and I can not always receive a guest just because they happen to have the time to see me for a tantra session.
I have been traveling for two full years now simply getting a taste of every city I have toured and everyone’s purpose for wanting a session is pretty much the same. Everyone needs touch. Everyone craves touch and everyone has a need to be desired and to feel lovable by someone who has time to be attentive.
I think every tantra Guide, healer or Muse is here to be authentic and present for their guest. I myself chose this path because I believe that the human body craves touch and we become more creative, more joyful and more loving when we are touched in “just the right way”.
We as healers present our sessions in such different ways and I decided that the best way to be is simply be your authentic Self no matter where you are in life and you can’t go wrong.
When you are a healer there is no need for arrogance. I have witnessed that what happens to many healers is they are judged inappropriately. When we focus on any kind of energy work whether it is sexual energy or working innocently with someone’s “tummy” aches we are shifting someone’s perspective of “being”. Some people can feel deeply threatened when they do not understand the changes they are undergoing after leaving the healer’s sacred space. Surely if you have been touched inappropriately in the past or if you have been traumatized emotionally you will have to take time out to “process” the healing touch you have received whether the touch is sexual or purely energetic healing touch like reiki.
I witnessed some of my clients crying, feeling anger (misdirected at me) or laughing so jovially I felt genuine happiness oozing out of me.
What ever happens it’s best to be without judgment.
I have been ridiculed, falsely accused of being a “trust fund kid” online and harangued by former clients of mine who were hoping I was a traditional escort service (GFE) when that was never my intention. When I graduated from a well know tantra yoga school I still had a lot left to learn but my true intention was to learn more about the circular breath and to learn how to breathe deeply while I focused on sending female energy to my mostly male clientele. I was not offering my “body” up but rather giving men choices. I wanted to use my body as a living model so that men who are shy or less aware of bodily sensations can practice with me and I could give them feedback as to whether their touch was sensitive enough or a bit too harsh and jarring.
Some past clients of mine came to me with all the wrong intentions and selfishly assumed that the term Goddess Worship meant they could do as they please to me or my body without worrying about whether or not I was feeling “used” or abused during our time together.
Goddess Worship is not a chance for you to learn how to “grope” or molest a woman by the hour. Goddess Worship is learning how to yield to the Divine Feminine or the Divine Mother that is in all women. Women are delicate Vessels of light and unconditional love. We deserve and crave to be honored and loved without conditions meaning we want to be adored no matter what our body shape or age. The true meaning of Goddess honoring is to heal your past relationships with your lovers, your sisters and your mother. Yes we all have deep wounds from our past but Goddess Worship Ceremonies present you with the opportunity to tap into your past feelings and process the pain or the misunderstanding so you can release your fears and your anger and your sense of abandonment and finally be fully present with real love to offer your future partner.
You might have misdirected anger at me during our time together because I might remind you of your past frustrations or be a Mirror to you while you process any pain from your childhood. I can only guide you and clear out those negative patterns if you give me feedback and speak up during our shared time together but I can not help you if you wait till our session is completely over or if you decide to hold your silence and never share your feelings of anger with me.
I can say that all energy workers perform a vital service and like energies attract like energies meaning no matter your level of expertise you will be able to help and heal those who have a similar issue that you have.
If you are a healer and If you experienced abuse as a child you will tend to attract those clients who were also abused by their parents. If you led a carefree life but just wanted to learn more about your sexuality in a safe and loving way you will attract individuals who also seek “play”. When you limit yourself and point the fingers of blame on other healers you are performing and committing an act of self hatred and self loathing.
Healers focus on your own gifts. Focus on what needs to be honed and well refined in your own sacred body . Focus on who you are now and where you want to be and forget about making comparisons between you and other healers if you want serenity.
I want to also include that anyone who comes to me to receive any of my services has the potential to become a tantra Healer or Daka. I am a Dakini by choice. I fell into this career path when I was in my early twenties constantly taking classes on the chakra systems and learning about subtle energies that affect our moods and ability to self heal. I can only assume that any new Guest I meet is trying to heal that child inside that wants a taste of true contentment and bliss
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