So have not posted in a while (all of two days to be precise). What prompted me to write this article is the fact that my browser was acting up on my face book page but I really felt the need to share about the “theatrics” that I have encountered with my fellow tantra practitioners. I wish we could all be “friends” but since I have been touring the United states these past five years I found out the hard way that some people are more concerned about creating a false “marketing image” for themselves than actually letting down their guard long enough to be good friends with fellow healers or at least try to want to be of service to each other rather than being sneaky and creating issues for each other.
I am sharing this post so clients can see the real human side to the women or men they give their complete trust to. I am not perfect but I love the work I do with a passion and I always wish for the best when I meet someone new that something positive or at least something beneficial was exchanged during our time together whether it was healing, relaxation or some laughter.
I wrote this essay or rambling though form not to create “trouble” for anyone but to enlighten people about my own journey, my challenges and my attempt to make some friends if I could while I offered tantra massage in the United States these past five years. I won’t complain though because I am doing something I truly love but I met a lot of hypocrites in my field as well as finding out I don’t mind being a longer for as long as I am staying true to who I am —an imperfect Being trying to create a handful of memorable experiences with some outstanding people.
Here is my writing from my heart tonight and I pray this information is read with love and understanding.
I have been very quiet lately mostly because I realize how very much alone I am in this “tantra world” or maybe just the world in general. Before I went to florida I contacted a few “face book friends” just in case they might want to get together or offer me a bit of advice but no one wanted to meet up with me …one person did hire me but it was only because he was “fixated” on my photos and loved tantra so his curiosity got the better of him and he schedule a session with me for all of 90 minutes at my savagely discounted florida rate. I have no issues giving discounts but tips mean a lot to me since I am a nomad living in hotels now.
I was disappointed and let down these past three years because when I kind of needed real help or just to network or meet for coffee from a fellow goddess no one stepped up to the plate. No one wanted to really “get involved” and I do understand I am a stranger so there is always going to be a fear factor.
I was let down when I finally meet someone in person and realize they have nothing of value to offer me or anyone else.
I did meet one outstanding goddess many years ago when I was living in New Orleans. I still did not have established clientele in New Orleans so I enjoyed travel everywhere and used the eros guide (which banned me this year) to market my traveling so no matter where I went I was greeted with enthusiasm and I loved feeling needed and meeting new clients. There were times when new tantra goddesses moved to Chicago and never introduced themselves to me. I also found a group of goddesses in New Orleans but again they never wanted to establish contact with me. The one person who actually cared was a tantra goddess who called herself Sofia del terra. She responded to an email I had sent her when I was in New Orleans and I love Manhattan New York especially in the summer so I asked if she would meet me and SHE DID!
Sofia met me for a day of fun and of course she was curious about me so i told her about being “set up” by my condo neighbors and How I no longer felt safe in Chicago since I was forced into doing a short sale of my condo that I only owned for 3 years. Sofia listened to me without judgment and she shared her stories about receiving some “problems” in New York and how she had to use an alias to protect her privacy. She advised me to increase my pricing in New York a notch or two and sympathised with me all the while she let me have a mini tour of New York and we agreed on splitting some belgian Frittes before she had to go. She ended up cheering me up, giving me advice and I found out she had referred most of her clients to visit me each time I went to New York. I have nothing but good things to say about this beautiful goddess. She did not listen to any gossip about me she just wanted to help me.
What people do not understand is the value of making good friends in this field is invaluable. People may not realize it but I am number one on Google for the city of Chicago and each time I have been away on my traveling sprees I receive 2 or more sincere requests a day from tourists and locals who ask me if I know of anyone or have any partners to refer them to. I let them know I truly do not have any partners or good friends in Chicago because when I reached out trying to get to know the few goddesses who now make their home Chicago they never returned my calls or wished to get involved. I truthfully say in my field it’s mostly about who shines the proudest amongst which clique of people and I am a harsh judge of character. I was even “checked out” and sized up as competition from a “goddess” who lived in New Orleans and wanted to meet me not so much to help me or network with me but to drill me with questions and pry into my personal life not out of polite curiosity but to find out if I am a potential threat. After meeting with me she promptly reduced her own rates and copied some links I had on my website to better her “cause”. The silly older woman made an enemy of me and encouraged her friends in the Quarter to harass me. I don’t forgive such stupidity and cruelty and when I did leave the French Quarter I did receive a ton of calls but I chose not to refer her to any of my future clients because she did not know how to act like a Goddess.
Goddess is a term used broadly these days. If you are going to use that word spread some love and spread some truth. When you go out of your way to hurt people it lingers for a long time down the road. I was not impressed with the fellow students I met on many retreats I took in Hawaii with Charles Muir as figurehead. I was even physically ill during level III and certain people in his group were making my stay a living hell rather letting me rest and be in the moment with my physical pain. I remember how one of his co teachers took me to the side while I was bleeding through my skirts telling me she just did not see the “goddess in me”. I already knew she did not have a Goddess in her. Her name was Judy and at the time she was not a fully certified teacher of tantra but she was a certified real estate agent…and I have been a sensual healer since the age of 21. I was thinking surely she had a lot of “catching up to do”.
To the few people I met in my lifetime I am deeply grateful and yes I did refer my clients to some wonderful healers here on my page. For the others who could not even bother to call me on the phone I have nothing to say good or bad…I just don’t involve myself that way.
You can’t judge someone by their face book wall. I never take anyone for face value I am hard to please but once you have impressed me you have a secret ally for life ❤
Goddesses remember how Karma circles and circulates. Unless you have let go of your ego you are simply playing with the job title and all it entails.
I have nothing further to say for the evening….
Here is a painting entitled Sleeping with Venus ❤ by