Posts tagged “psychic awareness

Today is Father’s Day 🧸

Today is Father’s Day but I don’t miss my biological father who physically kicked my mother in the stomach when she was carrying me in her womb. In fact I still don’t respect my own mother who is also deceased because what kind of mother remains married to a man who would attempt to threaten the life of her unborn child?

I’m posting this information not to garner any sympathy but to help people understand that not all of us here had desirable childhoods or pleasant memories of our parents during these traditional Hallmark card American created Holidays.

I’m not even a tad bit sentimental or regretful today because both my parents failed me and they were in a sick codependent relationship with one another and when my mother found out my father was schizophrenic she was even considering an abortion and deeply worried that I myself would develop schizophrenia like my father since it is after all hereditary.

Well my father had a complete nervous meltdown when my mother became pregnant and she told me he had kicked her hard then spent several months in treatment in the hospital for his mental condition.

Medication and talk therapy can only do so much for anyone suffering from delusions and I knew my father became a completely different person when he got angry with me or my mother. You could literally see his dark, black pupils become so enlarged his brown eyes became pitch black and he no longer looked human.

My father was very abusive to me…I have good memories of him when he showed genuine compassion towards me but his cruelty outweighed anything good he showed me and If I could go back in time as a young child I’d love to relive all those scary instances but ideally I would have left my home physically and spent more time outdoors or at the library and escaped his blind rages.

Not every father is ideal for the position of parenting so only a handful of lucky people out there had good, healthy relationships with their mothers and fathers. At the very least some of us as children were blessed to have a good role model either in the form of an uncle, a teacher or a close family friend.

I myself spent a good part of my childhood and puberty hiding in fear from my father who was not only diagnosed with schizophrenia but truly possessed by demonic entities. I’d love to understand what on earth I must have done in a previous incarnation to deserve such a frightening childhood but I know it shaped my character and made me a more sensitive child more empathetic than my peers.

I remember also being bullied by children my own age from five years old to age 16. At times I’d defend myself and the children would eventually learn to steer clear of me if I decided to defend myself properly. Most of the time I didn’t do anything to defend myself and I’d just cry quietly to myself at home. If my mother found out I had been bullied she usually didn’t have sympathy for me at all; in fact she genuinely became angry at me and wanted to know how I could let any of these peers take advantage of me or beat me up.

I learned to avoid and isolate myself from children in my school and at times I’d fight back when enough was enough and I had had my fill. I certainly didn’t mind fighting back and I at times learned how to adequately defend myself from my father’s tantrums and misdirected anger.

I never celebrate Father’s Day here on my Facebook wall but I know it’s a special day for at least a few blessed people out there in social media who knew what it felt like to be deeply loved unconditionally and respected by their fathers.

I leave this here on my wall not to garner sympathy but to help others understand that we don’t all celebrate this Holiday. Some of us don’t to this day understand why we ended up with the parents we had. I know a psychic reader I hired last year acknowledged to me what I had already known. My father was indeed a Channel for Spirits…all Spirits even Malevolent Spirits. He couldn’t control what he received so the doctor’s misdiagnosed his clairvoyance and prescribed him with pills and other medications that no doubt made his visions that much worse and skewed his reality further.

My parents were VESSELS …they were important in that they brought me here. I’m alive and I myself am clairvoyant and clairsentient and clairaudient. I know how to ground my own energies and I’ve never allowed any entity to ” take over the steering wheel ”

I can filter what it is I wish to receive and I function well on my own independently . I truly do not desire nor crave anyone else to “compliment” or “complete” me. I’ve had so many things taken from me but I’ve endured it and I’m content. I would never refuse genuine help if it were offered up to me but I learned the hard way that help is rarely offered unless there are “strings” attached.

My upbringing made me more sensitive and strong. I learned not to expect too much from anyone and I learned as I got into adulthood that people you date can abandon you when you need them the most especially if you let your guard down and bared your true feelings to them.

Anyone can disappoint you at anytime. The key to being truly happy is self reliance, self respect and unconditional self love. You must be there for yourself and learn to hold your own hand during the darkness.

By the way I do not give readings to anyone.  I sometimes might give my clients advice and pick up information they may need to hear from their Spirit Guides or “higher power “; but I don’t want to “probe” anyone I don’t know personally and interfere in their journey.

My psychic abilities have lead me to understand that I should place complete faith in myself first because of my own bodily signals or slight panic attacks.  I learned from firsthand experience that if I do not honor my own intuition I will be misled or reap the consequences of being completely taken advantage of by people who don’t have my best interests in mind.

I have experienced what it feels like numerous times not to be listened to and not to be taken seriously especially by people who were in a position to guide me or offer me help.

I suggest that if any of you reading my blog get a nagging gut feeling within you that some path isn’t right for you that you honor yourself first and pay close attention to your body’s signals.  If you feel nauseous or sweaty or truly ill before a decision you’ve made you may need to change your intended course of action and back away and try another alternative plan.

No one will be able to predict an outcome for you because we always have free will and the ability to change our minds frequently.  In honor of Father’s Day seek out answers within you more often.  Never question your own intuition and never put all your faith in one entity or one set way of doing something.

In honor of Father’s day learn to create sacred space within yourself first. When you wake up each day keep track of your thoughts.  Are you sending comforting thoughts to yourself and your physical body or are you silently criticising yourself ?

You alone carry all the answers within you and you alone intuitively understand how and where to begin the process and long journey of self healing and renewal.

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🌷 how to know your psychic reader was a fraud 🌷

Hey audience, I decided to write this article mostly as a reminder to myself and perhaps a cautionary tale to you that not all psychic readings are balanced or particularly healing.

I hadn’t had a legitimate reading in two years mostly because my traveling expenses and separate sets of storage fees give me limited access to fund all my desires.  I was perusing my Facebook feed a few months ago and noticed this well meaning young woman raving about her Facebook friends healing skills.  Naturally I love networking with other healers so I promptly sent this healer a friend request and found out she lives in the Chicago land area.

Later I realized the well meaning girl from new York had never received an actual healing she just thought based on their friendly interactions that Kerri had great healing abilities without actually receiving a real reading over the phone or in person.

Kerri and I had casual interchanges via Facebook messenger and I was seeking someone who could not only give me a clairvoyant reading but karuna…arch reiki for lower back pain I was experiencing.  I told Kerri that I was primarily intrigued about karuna and I was seeking more of an energy healing to open up any potential blocks in my chakras with an emphasis on opening up my opportunities for greater abundance.  Kerri assured me she would do her best to help and also suggested a psychic reading.  She mentioned she hosts a radio show and would even love to have me as a guest speaker to hopefully promote my tantra practice and gain a broader audience.  Of course that never happened ever as I would eventually discover for myself.

One week pain in my body made me  decide to hire a professional massage therapist in Humboldt park who I found to be incredibly profound.  Neil took his time with my spinal column and even tried cupping with me so at the end of our time together I opened up to neil and admitted I would be hiring a psychic for a reading soon.  Neil got very quiet and warned me about giving too much of my power to a complete stranger.  I assured him I’d be careful and as I left his massage studio I noticed how happy I looked and felt.  I felt tingly and much lighter energetically than I had felt in such a long time!

I then contacted Kerri and she was open to the idea of actually picking  me up at the closest train station to her home.  I don’t drive a car  and rely on trains and buses so she would agree to meet me at the closest blue line to her home.  The  next day however I realized there were two completely different Harlem ave stops on the blue line which was confusing and really changed the dynamics of me getting to her. I accidentally got off at the wrong stop and finally about two hours later met Kerri for the first time as she drove up to get me in her car.

Upon meeting Kerri I noticed she wasn’t smiling much but she seemed sincere about wanting to help me so when I entered her home I felt comfortable and confident but she was definitely lacking humor and her stern demeanor made me feel worried.  In fact I had every right to worry because as she shuffled her cards sternly I never felt like a human being I felt judged by her and belittled.  Not once during our session did she even seek anything positive to share with me it was just gloom, doom and tomb!  My God she never even cracked a smile and then when I needed to vent and genuinely express my concern and worries Kerri went on a long rant about her journey as an ex Playboy bunny who is now a single mother and how she just recently got ghosted by her boyfriend.  I spent a good twenty minutes listening to how she continues to prevail amidst all her challenges as a single mother! Then she had the nerve to suggest that I remove all the gallery images on my website http://www.tantrabutterfly.com so that I could attract better clients because she personally felt I wasn’t conveying an image of spirituality!  If you go online and do your own research you will find not hundreds but thousands of erotic photographs of miss Kerri Kendall touching other women, exposing her vulva, making suggestive sexually explicit poses and then you accidentally find her new age website with her psychic readings available and her model mayhem account.  Does that make her less credible?  What made her less credible to me was how horrible I felt about myself as a healer after she spent two full hours belittling me and assuming I had absolutely no knowledge of healing or the chakra bodies after I had told her many times prior on Facebook that I had learned about alternative healing, chakra balancing, reiki, pranic healing, tantra yoga, and hot stone therapy since my early twenties.

Kerri pointed to her rudimentary chakra chart and I simply had to interrupt her and ask her why she didn’t realize that I would already have a real understanding of chakras based on the fact that I practice tantra yoga with my clients.

She apologized and finally lead me to her table where I instantly drifted off and practically fell asleep.  It wasn’t the healing or the reading I was hoping for so at the conclusion of our time together she suggested I purchase an abundance candle for $15 and she then drove me back to the blue line without even using a sage stick on my aura or sealing off my energies!

I finally got back to my space feeling so emotionally raped and unlovable that I went online, did sincere research and actually did find a legitimate psychic reader by the name of Aria who felt my sadness instantly and gave me a real healing!  Aria empowered me and helped me understand the Dynamics of energy vampirism and the techniques energy vampires use to steal their victim’s energy by making their victim feel an emotion strongly.  A vampire doesn’t need happy or positive energy rather the energy can be morose, fearful or purely anger based.  After I got off the phone with Aria Norman I felt instant relief and Aria insisted on letting me know I was so intuitive I didn’t have to hire psychics ever again and she refused to charge me for her advice just so I could heal.

My advice to anyone is to be super selective about choosing your clairvoyant reader.  A good reader will want to give you positive solutions and any true psychic doesn’t need to rely on tarot cards as a crutch or tool!  A legitimate psychic reader is never judgmental of your path! If they can’t comprehend what true gifts you already possess yourself then you can assume they are purposefully placing you in a weakened emotional state so that you become doubtful and dependent upon their future assistance with endless readings that will ultimately leave you spiritually bankrupt.

If you yourself are in need of reiki, healing touch, guided visualization and traditional tantra massage please go directly to my website http://www.tantrabutterfly.com now and spend time reading my articles, my testimonials and my chakras section.  I’m a highly intuitive tantra guide with over twenty years of experience in alternative healing practices and the paranormal.  Once you feel you are ready for your own special journey simply call me directly at 312-339-7707 and feel free to fill out my contact form being completely honest about your short term goals and expectations.  Tantra is a heart  💓 conscious journey and I am sincere in my intentions to help you feel limitlessness, weightless and transcendental.received_10102650271916000.gif